My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[KalinkaMalinka]

Я ведь тоже учусь. Поэтому "серьезные" эссе (на 6 и выше) не коментирую (подробно). Ибо уровень мой "около 6" может чуть больше.

Grifffin, нет, я ничего не говорю, все нормально! Вы молодец, что комментируете. Все ошибаются. Просто автору сказала, что есть ошибки.

[Grifffin]

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

There are two main types of a modern accommodation. Some people prefer to live in a traditional house. Others like to live in a modern apartment building. In my opinion, [b] living in condominium [b] is more preferable (запятой не надо) then another type of living place.

First of all, apartment buildings are often situated near supermarkets, health centers, schools, universities and places of entertainment . For example, three years ago I lived in a traditional house with my husband and my little child. We were living there during a five months. It was a very boring period of time in my life . It was really difficult for me to find place of entertainment for my child. There were not parks and supermarkets nearby. Furthermore, my friends and relatives were far away from me. Now I am living in a modern apartment building and my life has become more comfortable.

Secondly, there are a lot of work in a traditional house. It never can be finished. Often, traditional house has a garden and you need to keep it in a good condition. For instance, when I live in such house, I had to look after the vegetable garden, cleaning the house, feed the dog, cooked and take care of my baby. There are more "things to do" in a traditional house than in a modern flat.

Taking all these points into consideration, I think that modern apartment building has plenty of benefits as a living place.Life in such sort of house is more convenient and comfortable practically in all cases.

перед подлежащим the не ставиться

ЗЫ: Могут быть (вернее есть) ошибки. Только я их не вижу.

[Grifffin]

Да. Думаю было бы полезно и понятно. Спасибо. А как можно научиться на английском излагать мысли? Наверное заучиванием определенных, часто встречающихся фраз из учебника? И насчет клише - какое вы считаете удачно использовать?

Побольше читать и слушать подкасты. И Writing тренировать (писать побольше).

[ledy]

Grifffin, спасибо. Вот только бы научиться "чувствовать язык". Берусь на свой страх и риск уже сдавать экзамен 26 сентября, нужны 6. Вы уже сдали?

[Lavrentiy]

ЗЫ: Могут быть (вернее есть) ошибки. Только я их не вижу.

Grifffin, серьезных ошибок тоже не вижу. Только неsколько замечаний, if I may:

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

There are two main types of (1) a modern accommodation. Some people prefer to live in a traditional house. Others like to live in a modern apartment building. In my opinion, living in (2) condominium is more preferable (запятой не надо) (3) then (4) another type of (5) living place.

First of all, apartment buildings are often situated near supermarkets, health (6) centers, schools, universities and places of entertainment . For example, three years ago I lived in a traditional house with my husband and my little child. We were living there (7) during ( a five months. It was a very boring period of time in my life . It was really difficult for me to find (9) place of entertainment for my child. There were (10) not parks (11) and supermarkets nearby. Furthermore, my friends and relatives were far away from me. Now I am living in a modern apartment (12) building and my life has become more comfortable.

Secondly, there (13) are a lot of work in a traditional house. (14) It never can be finished. Often, (15) traditional house has a garden and you need to keep it in a good condition. For instance, when I (16) live in such (17) house, I had to look after the vegetable garden, (1 cleaning the house, feed the dog, (19) cooked and take care of my baby. There are more "things to do" in a traditional house than in a modern flat.

Taking all these points into consideration, I think that (20) modern apartment building has plenty of (21) benefits as a living place. Life in (22) such sort of house is more convenient and comfortable practically in all cases.

(1) “a” ne nado. Accommodation – uncountable noun. KalinkeMalinke budet interesno, chto slovo “accommodation” izobrel Shakespeare.
(2) a condominium – artikl nuzhen.
(3) “than”, a ne “then”. Than – chem.; then –togda.
(4) in another type – luchshe?
(5) “living place” – zbuchit ne po-anglijski. Sovetuju perepisat’. Lodgings, residence?
(6) centres – British spelling.
(7) “during” ne objazatel’no
( “a” ne nado
(9) “a” nado. Fraza “place of entertainment for my child” zvuchit korjavo, ne po-anglijski. There was nothing for a child to do. There was nowhere I could take my child. There was nothing for children in the area. – vozmozhnye varianty.
(10) “no”, a ne “not”
(11) Zdes’ luchshe “or”, chem “and”.
(12) “modern apartment BLOCK” – zduchit bole po-anglijski.
(13) there IS
(14) It is never-ending. It never ends. – mozhno I tak
(15) zdes’ nuzhen artikl’. “the” ili “a” v zavisimosti ot smysla. Vozmozhny oba.
(16) “lived” ili “used to live”. Esli rech idet o predidushchem paragrafe.
(17) in such a house – artikl’ nuzhen
(1 clean the house – t.k. dejstvie reguljarno.
(19) cook for. Inache smysl “cook the baby”. lol
(20) “a” nado
(21) advantages – luchshe? plenty of advantages
(22) “that”, a ne “such”

You are getting there!

[Alexander Usov]

Прошу проверить эссе.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any children can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

I think that the question whether any child can become a famous individual is rather controversial and open for debate. Some people believe that children are born either talented or not. In this essay I will analyze these points of view and present my opinion in favor of people who incline to think that most of well-known people have a talent and work a lot.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that majority of famous people was born with a talent. Take for example the fact that Mozart who was the most famous musician of the middle centuries had enormous talent to music because when he was 5 years old he could already play a piano. Also he composed very complex musical compositions before he was 7 years old. All mentioned above facts approve the opinion that some children really have exceptional abilities and talents in very young age.

On the other hand, some parents are sure that they would teach their children to be a famous person such as a sports-star or a well-known actor. Unfortunately, it is well-known fact that some parents force their children to take part in sports sections or take courses of English without children’s opinion. As a result, such children suffer from it a lot and moreover they cannot do what they really like and cannot find out their real talent.

In conclusion, taking into account all mentioned above I strongly believe that the combination of native abilities and hard work will give the best result and finally can lead to appearance of a talented person. Parents should open ways and give opportunities to their children in order to ones succeed in their future life.

[Alisha]

Проверьте пожалуйста письмо другу. Вы получили работу "oversea",напишите почему вы апплаились,что за характер работы и спросить о стране.судите по всей строгости,хотя это мой первый блин.Заранее спасибо.
Dear Dana
How are you? I hope every thing is good. I’m sorry, I haven’t replied directly to your letter, I’ve been waiting for an answer from pharmaceutical company which I’d applied.

You know, it’s a company where you are working. Do you remember that you said about medical managers vacancies? I sent VC. I’m happy sharing great news – I got this job and we’ll be working in the same company. I’m so glad to be busy after a gap year, I guess I relaxed enough and I need changes in my life. Your advice was as never in time.

Offer is from an Italian branch of the firm. How it sounds? I know you started exactly in this department, I hope you’ll tell me details about particularity of working in. You should help me- please write everything needless for newcomers.

That’s all for now. I can’t wait to hear from you and I hope we’ll meet soon.
Best wishes.
Ann
161 слово

[Lavrentiy]

Прошу проверить эссе.
.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any children can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

I think that the question whether any child can become a famous individual is rather controversial and open (1) for debate. Some people believe that children are born either talented or not. In this essay I will analyze these points of view and present my opinion in (2) favor of people who (3) incline to think that most of well-known people have a talent and work a lot.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that (4) majority of famous people was born with a talent. Take for example the fact that Mozart who was the most famous musician of (5) the middle centuries had enormous talent (6) to music because when he was 5 years (7) old he could already play ( a piano. Also he composed very complex musical compositions before he was 7 years old. (9) All mentioned above facts (10) approve the opinion that some children really have exceptional abilities and talents (11) in (12) very young age.

On the other hand, some parents are sure that they would teach their children (13) to be a famous person such as a sports-star or a well-known actor. Unfortunately, it is (14) well-known fact that some parents force their children to take part in sports (15) sections or take courses of English without (16) children’s (17) opinion. As a result, such children suffer from it a lot and moreover they cannot do what they really like and cannot find (1 out their real talent.

In conclusion, taking into account all mentioned above I strongly believe that the combination of (19) native abilities and hard work will give the best result and finally can lead to (20) appearance of a talented person. Parents should open ways and give opportunities to their children in order (21) to ones succeed in their future life.

(1) open to debate – luchshe
(2) favour
(3) who are inclined to think
(4) the majority
(5) the middle centuries – ne govorjat: Medieval Period., Middle Ages. XVIII vek – ne Medieval! Fakticheskaja oshhibka. Mozart ne zhil v srednevekov’e.
(6) talent for music
(7) “years old” – ne objazatel’no.
( play the piano
(9) “All mentioned above facts” = “all the above” – luchshe?
(10) All the above proves that some children… - luchshe?
(11) “at” ili “from”, a ne “in”
(12) a very young age – artikl’ nuzhen
(13) how to be – luchshe?
(14) a well-known fact – artikl’
(15) sections – ne nado. take part in sports = “play sports” luchshe
(16) the
(17) the children’s opinion – korjavo. without the children being consulted? whether they like it or not?
(1 out – ne nado. you find your talent ili find yourself, discover yourself
(19) innate, a ne native
(20) nuzhen artikl’. vozmozhny oba v zavisimosti ot smysla.
(21) in order for them to succeed…

Horoshee esse. Tol’ko melkie zamechanija – pridirki. Well done!

[dazik]

(2) favour

favour(брит.) = favor (амер.) All acceptable.

[Grifffin]

[QUOTE=Lavrentiy;1094242]Grifffin, серьезных ошибок тоже не вижу. Только неsколько замечаний, if I may:

/QUOTE]

Согласен.

У меня возник один вопрос:

Often, (15) traditional house has a garden and you need to keep it in a good condition.

(15) zdes’ nuzhen artikl’. “the” ili “a” v zavisimosti ot smysla. Vozmozhny oba.

Здесь traditional house подлежащее. А перед подлежащим не должно быть артиклей (вроде-бы) или нет? Посмотрел в своих граматических книжках - ничего не нашел на эту тему.

[nekokit]

[QUOTE=Grifffin;1097546]

Grifffin, серьезных ошибок тоже не вижу. Только неsколько замечаний, if I may:

/QUOTE]

Согласен.

У меня возник один вопрос:



Здесь traditional house подлежащее. А перед подлежащим не должно быть артиклей (вроде-бы) или нет? Посмотрел в своих граматических книжках - ничего не нашел на эту тему.

Где Вы правило про подлежащее и отсутвтвие артиклей прочитали? Нет такого правила.

[Lavrentiy]

[QUOTE=Grifffin;1097546]

Grifffin, серьезных ошибок тоже не вижу. Только неsколько замечаний, if I may:

/QUOTE]

Согласен.

У меня возник один вопрос:



Здесь traditional house подлежащее. А перед подлежащим не должно быть артиклей (вроде-бы) или нет? Посмотрел в своих граматических книжках - ничего не нашел на эту тему.

Da, interesno. O takom pravile ja ne slyshal (hotja eto ne znachit, chto ego net!), no mne kazhetsja vy pravy, zdes' "traditional house" mozhet byt' bez artiklja. Popytajus' razobrat'sja - watch this space!

[Alexander Usov]

To Lavrentiy. Спасибо за проверку эссе. You are the best!!!

[Lavrentiy]

To Lavrentiy. Спасибо за проверку эссе. You are the best!!!

You're too kind.

[Lavrentiy]

favour(брит.) = favor (амер.) All acceptable.

Soglasen, no nuzhna consistency. Esli v texte peremeshan British s amerikanizmami - plohoe vpechatlenie. Priderzhivaites' chego-to odnogo. T.k. eto forum dlja mechtajuschix ob Avstralii, rekomenduju iskljuchitel'no British. (Nu esche i potomu chto eto samyj pravil'nyj iz vsex variantov Anglijskogo! lol)