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Hope together we'll fix all our bugs.
As co founder of this topic have to share with my fisrt writing example:
Any comments are welcome.
As co founder of this topic have to share with my fisrt writing example:
On the given graph, we see two lines, which describes a smoking of men and women, in the period from 1960 to 2000 years. For this graph was used a 1000 peoples and from them selected smoking persons.
This graph shows that smoking men at 1960 prevailed over not smoking men on almost 40%. At the same time smoking women was in minority – less than 10% of all tested women.
From the period of 1960 to 1965 quantity of smoked women rose up to 10% and reached the amount of 200 smoked women on 1000 responders. At this period, the party of smoked men slowly but certain falls down and to 1970’s lost about 50 members or in relatively numbers 5%.
After 1970’s women shows rapidly increasing of smoking – at this period number of smoking women rose up to 300.
In a border of 1975’s amount of smoking women stop rising, stabilize on a point of little bit more than 300 smoking females up to 1980’s and then permanently falls down up to 2000.
From 1960 to 1985 number of smoking men not rapidly changed, and reached the point of 400 men. From 1990 men sharply stop smoking and amount of smoking men and women almost compared to 2000.
Therefore, this graph shows us that smoking summarily men and women progressively decreasing.
This graph shows that smoking men at 1960 prevailed over not smoking men on almost 40%. At the same time smoking women was in minority – less than 10% of all tested women.
From the period of 1960 to 1965 quantity of smoked women rose up to 10% and reached the amount of 200 smoked women on 1000 responders. At this period, the party of smoked men slowly but certain falls down and to 1970’s lost about 50 members or in relatively numbers 5%.
After 1970’s women shows rapidly increasing of smoking – at this period number of smoking women rose up to 300.
In a border of 1975’s amount of smoking women stop rising, stabilize on a point of little bit more than 300 smoking females up to 1980’s and then permanently falls down up to 2000.
From 1960 to 1985 number of smoking men not rapidly changed, and reached the point of 400 men. From 1990 men sharply stop smoking and amount of smoking men and women almost compared to 2000.
Therefore, this graph shows us that smoking summarily men and women progressively decreasing.
) men slowly but certain (steadily?) falls (if you start with the past tense what is the purpose in switching to the present indefinite?) down and to 1970’s (why apostrophe?) lost about 50 members or in relatively numbers 5% (I can’t say that I’ve got the idea). 
Это же задание академик райтинга, которое вам совершенно не нужно, для эмиграции надо сдать general training only, в котором совсем другого типа задание, письмо, а не описание графиков. Или вам для ассесмента нужен именно Academic?
I promise to fix. Of couse, I need a general assessment. Tnx.
You know, do not smoke, whatever you smoking in there...
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