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Please can you check my composition om IELTS Thank you all

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  • Please can you check my composition om IELTS Thank you all

    Dear Sir or Madam,
    I am looking for a part -time job in the field of accounting. One of my friends recommended you to me as a very reputable employment agency.
    My name is Pamela Robins. I have recently graduated from the University with a bachelor's degree in accounting with excellence. As I am doing my master's degree I decided to work part-time as an assistant of an accountant in a small firm. It would be very convenient to work twenty hours a week.
    Besides good knowledge of accounting I am a fluent English speaker and know a smattering of French. I am a confident user of a computer and passed international computers exams a year ago. During summer holidays I had a practice in one of the multinational company.
    I am attaching a CV where you can find the detailed information about all my skills and experience. If you have any vacancies in your database who fulfill my requirements You would be ably to contact with me through contacts stated in my attached CV.
    Thank you for your attention.
    I am looking forward to your reply.
    Yours sincerely,
    Pamela Robins

  • #2
    Трохи очепяток: vacancies in your database WHICH fulfill my requirements; You would be ably to contact with me - You would be ABLE to contact with me (я бы написала просто contact me). Непомню, имеют ли значение пунктуация на иелтс, пару запятых поставить на вводной части предложения: As I am doing my master's degree, I decided to work. А в целом ок

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