'Поиграемся' в эссе еще раз?

[Marcella]

я тоже вся в нетерпении )))

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Body Paragraph 1 - поехали! (полный текст не нужен - в конспектном варианте, так сказать)

[NortT]

Intro: Sometimes immigration is considered as an opportunity to start a better life. This essay discusses why some people try to relocate to another country and also suggests that immigration might help to start a new life.

P1: There are some reasons. As a rule, people immigrate from poor countries to rich countries. This is because people hope to find better life and a better paying job in that countries. As well as this, a stable economic and political situation makes people confident in their fiture. Another reason is that some poeple would like to live in countries where climate is better than climate in their own countries.

Ну вот как-то так. Ну ка, как говорит Marcella, разнесите ка

[<кирилл>]

It is thought that immigration gives the opportunity to start a new life. In my view, there are some reasons for individuals to become migrants, and it is not impossible to make a fresh start.

P1) it is common knowledge that the main reason for immigration for many people is money. According to statistics, there are a substantial number of males and females move from the developing countries to the developed world in Order to find prosperity. For example, Some People who struggle to earn a satisfactory salary in Russia, where I hail from, usually immigrate to EU or USA in order to increase their income.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Intro: Sometimes immigration is considered as an opportunity to start a better life. This essay discusses why some people try to relocate to another country and also suggests that immigration might help to start a new life.

P1: There are some reasons. As a rule, people immigrate from poor countries to rich countries. This is because people hope to find better life and a better paying job in that countries. As well as this, a stable economic and political situation makes people confident in their fiture. Another reason is that some poeple would like to live in countries where climate is better than climate in their own countries.

Ну вот как-то так. Ну ка, как говорит Marcella, разнесите ка

"Разносить" пока вроде нечего. НО! Помните, в заданиее было выражение to turn a new leaf. Это достаточно сильный statement. Вы его отразили? Мне кажется, что ваш В1 слишком мягкий - но опять же, это не настоящее эссе, так что...

В 'копилку':
to find a better life --> in search of +n

[Maimiti_Isabella]

It is thought that immigration gives the opportunity to start a new life. In my view, there are some reasons for individuals to become migrants, and it is not impossible to make a fresh start.

Ну накрутили! Зачем вы так усложняете? Я даже сразу неправильно прочитала.
Проще надо быть, проще!

P1) it is common knowledge that the main reason for immigration for many people is money. According to statistics, there are a substantial number of males and females move from the developing countries to the developed world in Order to find prosperity. For example, Some People who struggle to earn a satisfactory salary in Russia, where I hail from, usually immigrate to EU or USA in order to increase their income.

Выделенное синим не понравилось:
нет, это совсем даже не common knowledge. Т.е. имеет место быть overgeneralisation + cliche

В 'копилку':
a satisfactory salary --> a decent salary

[Marcella]

P1

It can be seeing that some people decide to live in another country. One of the main reasons for that is lacking of economic and politic stability in their own countries. For instance, many immigrants moving from Brazil and Venezuela to Australia due to unstable situation in the places they are used to live. Moreover, a lot of parents believe that living in economically developed society helps their children to obtain better education. Therefore, at least next generation of a family has a chance to make a solid career.

[<кирилл>]

Первое что пришло в голову possible - not impossible
Наверно Можно было написать probable.

И копилка пополнена

[Maimiti_Isabella]

P1

It can be seeing that some people decide to live in another country. One of the main reasons for that is lacking of economic and politic stability in their own countries. For instance, many immigrants moving from Brazil and Venezuela to Australia due to unstable situation in the places they are used to live. Moreover, a lot of parents believe that living in economically developed society helps their children to obtain better education. Therefore, at leastnext generation of a family has a chance to make a solid career.

На вот это ответили:
Is it possible to start your life anew?

next generation - это уже не иммигранты вообще-то...

На самом деле из Венесуэлы практически невозможно эмигрировать.... А в Бразилии нестабильности вроде и нет. Но это к делу не относится. Просто будьте осторожны в overgeneralisation.

Если бы вы написали might want to move, то вопросов у меня не возникло бы.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Все или еще кто-то хочет?

Если все, то завтра начинаем В2

[<кирилл>]

P2
To the best of my knowledge,most people who immigrate to another country may start a new life. According to research, a considerable number of immigrants fully assimilate into the new community within the first year of living there. By way of illustration, such people usually find a new job with a decent salary or even change their occupation completely. Moreover, as far as I know, they likely to find new friends who do not know about their past, and, therefore, do not blame them for anything.

[NortT]

Intro: Sometimes immigration is considered as an opportunity to start a better life. This essay discusses why some people try to relocate to another country and also suggests that immigration might help to start a new life.

P1: There are some reasons. As a rule, people immigrate from poor countries to rich countries. This is because people hope to find better life and a better paying job in those countries. As well as this, a stable economic and political situation makes people confident in their future. Another reason is that some people would like to live in countries where climate is better than climate in their own countries.

P2: It is no doubt that it is possible to start a new life. First of all, immigration brings plenty of changes into people’s lives. Immigrants should adapt to a new country and environment. This helps people to receive knowledge about totally different culture and gains new skills, which they had not before. Secondly, people could find new friends as well as the other half. All of this could make their life more interesting and exciting than it was before.

P.S. Не очень, как мне кажется, в тему эта моя писанина. Жду разноса, в общем.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

P2
To the best of my knowledge,most people who immigrate to another country may start a new life. According to research, a considerable number of immigrants fully assimilate into the new community within the first year of living there. By way of illustration, such people usually find a new job with a decent salary or even change their occupation completely. Moreover, as far as I know, they likely to find new friends who do not know about their past, and, therefore, do not blame them for anything.

Они что, преступления какие-либо совершили, что надо что-то постыдное скрывать? Я логику не понимаю.

Слишком много 'на себя' берете, совершенно без необходимости: my, I - и это в одном абзаце.


Выделенное красным - клише

Еще в 'копилку'

• to make a living
• to provide for the family
• to support oneself
• to earn a living

idioms:

• to earn one's bread
• to earn one's daily bread
• to put bread on the table - make sure you understand the meaning and usage

и т.д.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Intro: Sometimes immigration is considered as an opportunity to start a better life. This essay discusses why some people try to relocate to another country and also suggests that immigration might help to start a new life.

P1: There are some reasons. As a rule, people immigrate from poor countries to rich countries. This is because people hope to find better life and a better paying job in those countries. As well as this, a stable economic and political situation makes people confident in their future. Another reason is that some people would like to live in countries where climate is better than climate in their own countries.

P2: It is no doubt that it is possible to start a new life. First of all, immigration brings plenty of changes into people’s lives. Immigrants should adapt to a new country and environment. This helps people to receive knowledge about totally different culture and gains new skills, which they had not before. Secondly, people could find new friends as well as the other half. All of this could make their life more interesting and exciting than it was before.

P.S. Не очень, как мне кажется, в тему эта моя писанина. Жду разноса, в общем.

Как раз неплохо, но на мой взгляд не хватает 'драматизма'. В теме речь идет о 'начать жить сначала', а вы заканчиваете абзац на interesting and exciting. С моей точки зрения, это все-таки разные вещи.

[ovel]

Правила игры те же. Никаких эссе.
Только план, но только на английском в этот раз.

Some people are convinced that immigration is a chance to turn over a new leaf. What causes people to immigrate to a new country? Is it possible to start your life anew?



Итак,
Introduction

Я не очень в курсе игры, просто так зашел. Сдавал иелтс давно, последний раз получил свою 7 и успокоился

so,

it is widely believed that moving into another country might help people to change their lifestyle. There are certain reasons to do this as well as hardships that the people might be stuck in while they start living in a new country.