Когда я вбиваю Third-level education в 'свой' гугл (google.com.au) , то все ссылки идут про ирландскую систему.
Не знаю, стоит ли использовать. Если бы вы были в Австралии, то однозначно сказала бы, что нет, не стоит. В России, с другой стороны, наверное много экзаменаторов-англичан, которые более знакомы с ирландской терминологией.
А если в общем, то я не вижу необходимости использовать это выражение.
Higher education, post-secondary education, tertiary education - это то, что используется во всем мире, и что понятно в любой стране.
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Сообщение от bolo83
всезнающая дама предпенсионного возраста, которая сама непонятно как попала в Австралию
Intro:
There is no common opinion in the society on issue of tertiary education for females. Today, in the modern world everyone own the right to obtain high education, however, some citizens believe this is a waste of resources, since the life of an adult woman should be dedicated toward their partners and offspring.
Paragraph 1:
Avoiding from somebody to receive tertiary education only for the reason being a woman totally contradicts the traditions and ethics of the modern western society.
Paragraph 2:
There is no clear role division in a modern family structure and as result of it every partner, a male or a female, can dedicate itself to career building or family life.
Intro:
There is no common opinion in the society on issue of tertiary education for females. Today, in the modern world everyone own the right to obtain high education, however, some citizens believe this is a waste of resources, since the life of an adult woman should be dedicated toward their partners and offspring.
Paragraph 1:
Avoiding from somebody to receive tertiary education only for the reason being a woman totally contradicts the traditions and ethics of the modern western society.
Paragraph 2:
There is no clear role division in a modern family structure and as result of it every partner, a male or a female, can dedicate itself to career building or family life.
Серьезные проблемы с английским, но сейчас речь не об этом.
С точки зрения ответа на вопрос у меня есть проблемы. Во Вступлении Вы говорите что есть 2 точки зрения, а оба body paragraphs вроде бы освещают только одну.
Или я что-то не поняла?
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Сообщение от bolo83
всезнающая дама предпенсионного возраста, которая сама непонятно как попала в Австралию
In conclusion, I absolutely agree that higher education is necessary for females even they are not going to work after childbirth. This is because women who have tertyary education benefit themselves as well as society.
In conclusion, there are a considerable number of benefits for women to have tertiary education. From my personal experience and observation I am inclined to believe that a university degree is not a waste of time and money for them.
Intro: Some people argue that girls should not study at university because it is just a waste of time and money. Others believe that females should obtain a degree. I absolutely agree that it is necessary for women to have a university education. An analysis of advantages for women as well as for society will prove the above-stated position.
P1: If a woman wants to work, she will be able to find an interesting well-paid job. Consequently, a woman could be more independent of a husband and other family members. When a woman has a job she could spend money on her own.
P2. If a woman has third-level education, she is often more well-rounded and smarter than other people who have no higher education. These women could make a better choice in elections or raise their children as useful members of society. Cnsequently, society is benefited from such women.
In conclusion, I absolutely agree that higher education is necessary for females even they are not going to work after childbirth. This is because women who have tertyary education benefit themselves as well as society.
Good!
even vs. even if
necessary --> essential / vital / paramount (the last one if you feel really strong about the issue)
Если у вас есть преподаватель, то может попросите его/ее разобрать ошибки? А то эссе получается хорошее, жаль если пропадет
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Сообщение от bolo83
всезнающая дама предпенсионного возраста, которая сама непонятно как попала в Австралию
Многие считают, что высшее образование для девочек -это трата времени и денег, так как они все равно не будут работать после рождения детей.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that a considerable number of women with tertiary education quite their jobs when they become mothers. By way of illustration, my neighbour Lucy, who ...
On the flip side, there are a number of girls who might need a university degree after giving birth.
In conclusion, there are a considerable number of benefits for women to have tertiary education. From my personal experience and observation I am inclined to believe that a university degree is not a waste of time and money for them.
Вроде бы все нормально, но так как вы дали только Topic sentence, то не очень понятно, как будет развиваться второй Body Paragraph, а без этого Заключение нельзя оценить адекватно.
Особенно смущает меня выделленые слова.
there are a number of girls --> there is a number of girls
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Сообщение от bolo83
всезнающая дама предпенсионного возраста, которая сама непонятно как попала в Австралию
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