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Сообщение от NortT
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Ну вот как-то так.. 
Today we will talk about a small exotic country Blahblahnia, which is located on the dark side of the Moon. In comparison to other countries, Blahblahnia is a quite poor one. The quality of life of blahblahnians is at the end of the scale across the Moon. This is the main reason that the government is under siege. Despite the moratorium on strikes and meetings, many people try to defend their rights in such a manner that it seems that a civil war is underway. At the same time, seeking compensation for their suffering, some people hope to reach the light side of the Moon, and many of them who are successful in their attempts feel that they are poor cousins there. However, other people whose journey finished with a failure have to go back to the drawing table and think of a new way to improve their lives.
Today we will talk about a small exotic country Blahblahnia, which is located on the dark side of the Moon. In comparison to other countries, Blahblahnia is a quite poor one. The quality of life of blahblahnians is at the end of the scale across the Moon. This is the main reason that the government is under siege. Despite the moratorium on strikes and meetings, many people try to defend their rights in such a manner that it seems that a civil war is underway. At the same time, seeking compensation for their suffering, some people hope to reach the light side of the Moon, and many of them who are successful in their attempts feel that they are poor cousins there. However, other people whose journey finished with a failure have to go back to the drawing table and think of a new way to improve their lives.
Но только я не поняла почему выделенное красным написана с маленькой буквы: это ведь национальность, следовательно, you need to capitalise.
Есть также проблема с coherence. Some people hope to reach - т.е. они только надеются, а в след. предложении они уже вроде как successful in their attempts. Нестыковочка
go back to the drawing table - я не уверена, что здесь это подойдет. А также очень бы хотелось понять, чем вам не понравилась идиома back to the drawing board. Не понравилось до такой степени, что вы ее изменили?
many of them who are successful in their attempts feel --> and many of those who have been successful in their attempts ....
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