По эссе вполне можно подумать, что Вы частично не поняли задание.
Сообщение от Luidmila
Посмотреть сообщение
In many countries of the world shopping is not just a way of buying goods. It's now becoming an entertainment.
Why do you think this is it?
Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays one of the commonly debated issues in our society is shopping. It is obvious [опасное слово] that shopping has become an entertainment. Many people claim that this tendency has only beneficial effects on our life. I strongly agree with this statement and in my essay I would like to consider why I possess this opinion. [В задании два вопроса, в интро Вы пишете про один.]
First of all, many shopping malls try to attract people’s attention to their products and do everything to make customers spend a lot of time there [читайте материалы, как писать thesis sentense]. So, they create some [?] appropriate conditions for these people organizing different entertainment facilities [написано: для людей организующих...]. For instance, in many shopping malls there are special playgrounds where you [никаких you в эссе] can leave your child with a babysitter during your shopping. Many people find this really convenient for them and try to go to the shopping center where customers are provided with this type of service. [в целом, параграф отвечает на вопрос "Why do you think this is it?" частично, при этом довольно неубедительно]
[этот параграф должен был ответить на вопрос "Is it a positive or negative development?". у Вас он мимо кассы, поэтому разбирать не буду ]
Secondly, many people go to the shopping center simply to relax after a busy day or week. In modern shopping malls, there is a wide range of restaurants, cafes and cinemas where you can meet your friends, watch interesting films and even go ice skating, as many shopping malls have a special place for it. In addition there are many activities for children. They may participate in different competitions while their parents make purchases. So the majority of people try to spend their free time in these shopping malls
In conclusion, I think/believe that shopping centers have become an integral part of our life [опять - где ответ на Why do you think this is it? Is it a positive or negative development? И первое предложение, и структура параграфа слабо соответствуют заданию]. And [] many people really like relaxing there with their friends and children. And [] from my point of view, modern shopping centers are the best option for a pleasant pastime.
Why do you think this is it?
Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays one of the commonly debated issues in our society is shopping. It is obvious [опасное слово] that shopping has become an entertainment. Many people claim that this tendency has only beneficial effects on our life. I strongly agree with this statement and in my essay I would like to consider why I possess this opinion. [В задании два вопроса, в интро Вы пишете про один.]
First of all, many shopping malls try to attract people’s attention to their products and do everything to make customers spend a lot of time there [читайте материалы, как писать thesis sentense]. So, they create some [?] appropriate conditions for these people organizing different entertainment facilities [написано: для людей организующих...]. For instance, in many shopping malls there are special playgrounds where you [никаких you в эссе] can leave your child with a babysitter during your shopping. Many people find this really convenient for them and try to go to the shopping center where customers are provided with this type of service. [в целом, параграф отвечает на вопрос "Why do you think this is it?" частично, при этом довольно неубедительно]
[этот параграф должен был ответить на вопрос "Is it a positive or negative development?". у Вас он мимо кассы, поэтому разбирать не буду ]
Secondly, many people go to the shopping center simply to relax after a busy day or week. In modern shopping malls, there is a wide range of restaurants, cafes and cinemas where you can meet your friends, watch interesting films and even go ice skating, as many shopping malls have a special place for it. In addition there are many activities for children. They may participate in different competitions while their parents make purchases. So the majority of people try to spend their free time in these shopping malls
In conclusion, I think/believe that shopping centers have become an integral part of our life [опять - где ответ на Why do you think this is it? Is it a positive or negative development? И первое предложение, и структура параграфа слабо соответствуют заданию]. And [] many people really like relaxing there with their friends and children. And [] from my point of view, modern shopping centers are the best option for a pleasant pastime.
Comment