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here we go with... an essay!
Nowadays we use computers in schools so freaquent that some people believe there will be no need in teachers in the future.
freaquent -> frequent Nice word, though.
It all began about 40 years ago. People had had a dream of having assistants in routine day-to-day work and had came up with a computer. Some time passed and one cannot imagine his life without a computer. The further development of Information Technology, for instance, the Internet, provided mankind with new tools of teaching. Some people believe with the further growth of computer use the role of teachers will disappear. Others believe there is even greater responsibility for teachers now.
It looks almost OK, just a few notes:
1. People had had a dream -> "had a dream" is enough.
2. routine and day-to-day together are too much. Choose one you like more and use it.
3. Use either IT or information technology - in non-IT context latter is better.
4. "Tools of teaching" -> "Tools for teaching"
5. Teachers can disappear, their role is unlikely.
6. "there is even greater responsibility for teachers"->"responsibility of teachers wil grow".
Let us examine a situation, when computers replace teachers. In such a case there will be a great demand for prorammers and analytics to create thousands of various programs simulating various situations and case studies for students. Not meantioning it is quite difficult to observe each possible issue, we are still in need of tutors who and training coordinators who will be developing that software.
This paragraph is not bad too, but there is some strange stuff here as well:
1. prorammers -> programmers (I know it was just a typo... )
2. meantioning -> mentioning (typo or...?)
3. observe -> cover or evaluate are better choices in this context
4. each possible issue -> every possible issue (each is normally used with human beings only)
4. "we are still in need of tutors who and": "who" got here by mistake I hope
5. Not a grammar error, but tutors and training coordinator normally never mess with software development - which is good, on my mind.
Now let us try to combine these two great achievements of the human race - solid teaching experience and new technology opportunities. We are looking at an example of Finland educational system, which is considered to be one of the best practices in the world. Children are taught to look for information, critically think with the help of Information Technology. Those who live in remote villages can take part in the education process by means of distance learning.
In the conclusion, I would like to state that teachers will play even greater role in the learning process in future. A combination of a wise teacher and computer technology will be for the benefit of the whole society.
No major comments, here, though "We are looking at an example" can be change to "Take as an example the Finland ..."
PS basically, I do not like how it is writen
I just do not like writing essays 
Neither I do, that is why decided to review your one instead of writing my own.
The last not but least note:
Do not trust my judgement above too much, I am just another Russian out there and can be wrong like everyone else.
I will be happy to have any feedback from the author as well as from other posters.
Good luck!!!
P.S. I also promise to post here my own masterpiece when I manage to write one during my preparation for IELTS exam. Then you all will have a chance to pay back to me.
Nowadays we use computers in schools so freaquent that some people believe there will be no need in teachers in the future.
freaquent -> frequent Nice word, though.
It all began about 40 years ago. People had had a dream of having assistants in routine day-to-day work and had came up with a computer. Some time passed and one cannot imagine his life without a computer. The further development of Information Technology, for instance, the Internet, provided mankind with new tools of teaching. Some people believe with the further growth of computer use the role of teachers will disappear. Others believe there is even greater responsibility for teachers now.
It looks almost OK, just a few notes:
1. People had had a dream -> "had a dream" is enough.
2. routine and day-to-day together are too much. Choose one you like more and use it.
3. Use either IT or information technology - in non-IT context latter is better.
4. "Tools of teaching" -> "Tools for teaching"
5. Teachers can disappear, their role is unlikely.
6. "there is even greater responsibility for teachers"->"responsibility of teachers wil grow".
Let us examine a situation, when computers replace teachers. In such a case there will be a great demand for prorammers and analytics to create thousands of various programs simulating various situations and case studies for students. Not meantioning it is quite difficult to observe each possible issue, we are still in need of tutors who and training coordinators who will be developing that software.
This paragraph is not bad too, but there is some strange stuff here as well:
1. prorammers -> programmers (I know it was just a typo...
)2. meantioning -> mentioning (typo or...?)
3. observe -> cover or evaluate are better choices in this context
4. each possible issue -> every possible issue (each is normally used with human beings only)
4. "we are still in need of tutors who and": "who" got here by mistake I hope
5. Not a grammar error, but tutors and training coordinator normally never mess with software development - which is good, on my mind.
Now let us try to combine these two great achievements of the human race - solid teaching experience and new technology opportunities. We are looking at an example of Finland educational system, which is considered to be one of the best practices in the world. Children are taught to look for information, critically think with the help of Information Technology. Those who live in remote villages can take part in the education process by means of distance learning.
In the conclusion, I would like to state that teachers will play even greater role in the learning process in future. A combination of a wise teacher and computer technology will be for the benefit of the whole society.
No major comments, here, though "We are looking at an example" can be change to "Take as an example the Finland ..."
PS basically, I do not like how it is writen
I just do not like writing essays Neither I do, that is why decided to review your one instead of writing my own.
The last not but least note:
Do not trust my judgement above too much, I am just another Russian out there and can be wrong like everyone else.
I will be happy to have any feedback from the author as well as from other posters.
Good luck!!!
P.S. I also promise to post here my own masterpiece when I manage to write one during my preparation for IELTS exam. Then you all will have a chance to pay back to me
.
Funny word, almost like Freakwent (bla-bla-bla).
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