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These days many international organizations participate in different conferences on ecological problems and try to find the solution how of managing this situation. Some believe that environmental situation should be controlled by local resident or easily locals, however, others think that it is an international matter / business/ concern, but definitely not deal (deal is "an agreement entered into by two or more parties for their mutual benefit, especially in a business or political context" - Oxford Dictionary) . To my concern - не встречала такого ранее, исправлять не буду, возможно кто-то из более опытных уточнит, можно ли такое употреблять , all countries should take part Тут не совсем понятно в чем принимать участие (теряется нить), но это мое ИМХО to obtain good results.
First reason for doing that is - influence of ecological situation of one country on its neighborhood and sometimes on the whole region in general. One of such problems is contamination of soil causing pollution of rivers and lakes. Moreover in most times plants - have no idea what it is
, which have been growing (IMHO) on this soil, are full of harmful elements. As the result, it makes people suffering from serious diseases and makes livestock not appropriate for eating. Another example is air pollution. Thus different wastes from factories and cars make people breathe polluted air. Even more, some wastes fall down as a rain and contaminate surrounding territories. That is why only together - sorry, it sounds russian people can control the situation in the region.
At last, there are some problems which cannot be resolved by local people because of lack of money. A vivid example is Chernobyl disaster. Nowadays the old sarcophagus should be changed because the old one does not protect from the radiation any more. - Ukraine cannot do it itself because of cost of such kind of building. Another example is international disasters like forest fire in Greece and Russia. Recent events have shown that fires could not be overcomed independently. Thus, it is necessary to receive some help - I suppose it has to be either get some help or receive some assistance from other countries in order to regulate - current situation.
To sum up, environmental problems influence - ecological situation not only on local area, they cause much damage on neighbouring countries. I agree that situation should be handled by international authorities. In addition every person should take care of - situation in his or her surroundings.
Теперь подытожу:
1. Есть руссизмы (дословно переводите фразы). Это минус.
2. Хорошая лексика. Это плюс.
3. При наличие хорошей лексики не всегда умеете "соединять" слова по-английски. Это минус.
4. Используете мало линков (слова but, and, also, or необходимо забыть). Это минус.
5. Структура хорошая, единственная неувязка: во втором абзаце пишете что первая причина...., а в следующем сразу же начинаете фразой "наконец". Но, в целом, структура правильная. Это плюс.
Совет:
1. Учите линки.
2. Читайте книги (там есть хорошие связки), в частности, разбирайте тексты с Ридинга.
3. Продолжайте трудиться
Думаю, что сочинение спокойно может заслужить балл 6.0-6.5.
П.С. Это все ИМХО, мой балл невысок, помогаю тем, чем могу и что считаю
ПП.С. Прошу простить если что-нибудь непонятно или неправильно исправила...
First reason for doing that is - influence of ecological situation of one country on its neighborhood and sometimes on the whole region in general. One of such problems is contamination of soil causing pollution of rivers and lakes. Moreover in most times plants - have no idea what it is
, which have been growing (IMHO) on this soil, are full of harmful elements. As the result, it makes people suffering from serious diseases and makes livestock not appropriate for eating. Another example is air pollution. Thus different wastes from factories and cars make people breathe polluted air. Even more, some wastes fall down as a rain and contaminate surrounding territories. That is why only together - sorry, it sounds russian people can control the situation in the region.At last, there are some problems which cannot be resolved by local people because of lack of money. A vivid example is Chernobyl disaster. Nowadays the old sarcophagus should be changed because the old one does not protect from the radiation any more. - Ukraine cannot do it itself because of cost of such kind of building. Another example is international disasters like forest fire in Greece and Russia. Recent events have shown that fires could not be overcomed independently. Thus, it is necessary to receive some help - I suppose it has to be either get some help or receive some assistance from other countries in order to regulate - current situation.
To sum up, environmental problems influence - ecological situation not only on local area, they cause much damage on neighbouring countries. I agree that situation should be handled by international authorities. In addition every person should take care of - situation in his or her surroundings.
Теперь подытожу:
1. Есть руссизмы (дословно переводите фразы). Это минус.
2. Хорошая лексика. Это плюс.
3. При наличие хорошей лексики не всегда умеете "соединять" слова по-английски. Это минус.
4. Используете мало линков (слова but, and, also, or необходимо забыть). Это минус.
5. Структура хорошая, единственная неувязка: во втором абзаце пишете что первая причина...., а в следующем сразу же начинаете фразой "наконец". Но, в целом, структура правильная. Это плюс.
Совет:
1. Учите линки.
2. Читайте книги (там есть хорошие связки), в частности, разбирайте тексты с Ридинга.
3. Продолжайте трудиться
Думаю, что сочинение спокойно может заслужить балл 6.0-6.5.
П.С. Это все ИМХО, мой балл невысок, помогаю тем, чем могу и что считаю
ПП.С. Прошу простить если что-нибудь непонятно или неправильно исправила...
)
Экзамен на носу...надо тренироваться.Вот хотелось бы услышать конструктивной критики.Чего не хватает, чего убрать.
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