My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Maimiti_Isabella, имеете в виду что на экзамене такое не попадается?

Oна вообще нигде не может попасться, так как она не имеет смысла. Вам уже дают causes (academic, social and commercial perspectives), a потом говорят - давайте causes.

И что такое pressureS - одним китайцам ведомо.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Всем советую изучить.

Difference Between Cause and Reason

[naun81]

полезная статья, спасибо

[Tima1995]

I will highly appreciate if someone checks my letter.

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday.
Write a letter to your friends. In your letter
* thank them for the photos and for the holiday
* explain why you didn't write earlier
* invite them to come and stay with you

Dear Jack and Marie,

How are you? I hope that everything is okay. I am writing you in order to thank you for the photos from our holiday that you have recently sent me. I really liked them especially the photo where we are cycling a motorcycle with Jack. Also, thank you so much for that great holiday in Ibiza.

As you know in honor to the day of our country's independence we had a marching. All my time was spent there and after such tiring days I was not able to concentrate and write you a message.

I am arriving to my home from Spain next week and I would highly appreciate if you could find some time and visit my hometown. It has changed a lot since you have last been there. Moreover, our mutual friends look forward to seeing you again. Thus, I hope that it will be an additional motivating factor for you to come.

Drop me a line when you are free.

Warm wishes,
Timur.

[sergeoid]

Оцените, пожалуйста в комментариях и баллах .

Dear Tom,
I'm writing to express my gratitude for your present that you sent me. Honestly, I didn't expect that you send out me so expensive gift.
When I found (discovered) an IPhone in a parcel I was pleasantly surprised because I have broken my telephone a day earlier. Moreover, the IPhone that I received is a new model in the range of Apple products. Honestly, I enjoyed with this mobile phone every time during next few days.
To tell really truth, I'm discovering new features in this device again and again. I really appreciated the design this mobile phone : the full HD screen, suitable dimensions, a deep brown colour of a back cap and a appropriate weight. A media files that I turn on this device are sound excellently. I'm very appreciate it.
Of course, I'm going to use it for the regular calls and a sms. Also, I'll use it for the chatting, the watching Internet video and as a camera. I believe, I will apply it everywhere and, honestly, I think your present will give me more confidence among my colleagues and acquaintances.
Once again I really appreciated your gift. Thanks a lot.
Chan.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Сегодня и завтра могу проверить 2 эссе.

Условие: ожидаемый балл - 7 и выше.

Эссе пожалуйста присылайте в personal messages.

I can have a look at one or two essays (or Task 1 writing - both Academic and General) over the weekend.

[sergeoid]

Всем привет. Кто может оцените, пожалуйста, с приблизительной оценкой. Спасибо.

Write a letter of complaint to a store where you purchased a faulty new refrigerator. In your letter explain the following :
- where and when you purchased the refrigerator
- what is wrong with it
- what action you would like the store to take

Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the refrigerator that I bought from your shop.
I bought the Samsung No-frost refrigerator from the store which is situated on Tverskaya street in Moscow four days ago, Monday the 22th of April. I paid cash for the refrigerator and for delivery to my house.
Unfortunately, the problems started when I switched on the refrigerator at home. As I found out, the no-frost system is not working properly. I realized it when I detected frost on the products inside the refrigerator 2 days after buying.
I believe the best way to rectify the situation is to exchange it for new fridge. In addition, I would also like to obtain some financial compensation for the inconvenience that I have experienced due to the purchase of the defective refrigerator. You can call me at 8-901-433-32-21 during the day for more details about this situation.
I hope this matter will receive your immediate attention.
Yours sincerely,
Chan Ten.

[Avik]

FOREIGN LANGUAGES SHOULD BE COMPULSORY IN THE PRIMARY SCHOOL. HOW FAR DO YOU AGREE WITH THE ABOVE STATEMENT?


There is an opinion that studying foreign language in the elementery school must be compulsory. Personally, I agree with that statement and in this essay I will share the reasons supporting that opinion.

Teaching foreign language in the elementery school is an important for some reasons.
First of al,l foreign language opens a door to a new culture and tradition for a child. Children have an opportunity to know different foreign heroes and characters through fairy tales and cartoons in different foreign languages.In addition of this it is important to mention that studying foreign language since childhood nurture's tollerance to other nationalities in child's mind.

Secondly, it is commonly known fact that the best time for studying is in childhood. Children easily memorise the new words that we say.Hence it is important to teach for foreign language since childhood as kids can pick the new speech easily. And lastly but not less imortant, is the fact that studying foreign language in elementery school is a huge investment in child's future career. Nowdays many companies, require from their future employees to speak one and in some cases even in two foreign languages.

To sum up with it is vital to include in elementery schools educational programm studying foreign languages as it enhance's childs both spiritual and practical world.

[Julia_03]

Здравствуйте, меня зовут Юля. Буду очень благодарна тому, кто проверит мое эссе подскажет ошибки.

Atomic energy is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger.
What is your opinion?

Nowadays development of the world resulted searching of new energy sources. As%a consequence using of atomic energy in the last years became more frequent. This essay will analyse the positive and the negative sides that has the nuclear power. Following this look, a reasonable conclusion will be shared.
On the one side the atomic energy may be the unique alternative source that will remain in the future. Because the resources that we are using now can run out. For instance, the source of natural gas soon or later will be used up at all. In addition, increasing of global warming is another problem that arise needs of searching the alternative sources of energy. But people have to remember that use of atomic energy can be helpful only if it destined for a right direction.
However, there are some disadvantages of nuclear power. The most important of them is that it is very expensive and many countries do not have money for building the nuclear power plant. As result this fact may create a situation when only the rich countries will have atomic sources of energy. In addition, there can be a danger that the powerful countries can try to conquer the other nation that do not have the nuclear power. What can lead to the wars and disbalance in the world.
To conclude, although there some positive sides of atomic energy, there also some important negative points. As far as i believe, that the right destination and a strict control in using the nuclear power can outweigh the drawbacks, because it can be the only source of energy that the humanity may have in the future.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Господа, те из Вас, кто тянет на 7-ку, прокомментируйте пожалуйста, два последних эссе. И вам полезно, и добро сделаете.

[od1n]

FOREIGN LANGUAGES SHOULD BE COMPULSORY IN THE PRIMARY SCHOOL. HOW FAR DO YOU AGREE WITH THE ABOVE STATEMENT?


There is an opinion that studying (может ли study быть compulsory?) (артикля бы, здесь и далее) foreign language in the (артикль, чья школа имеется в виду?) elementary school must be compulsory. Personally, I agree with that statement, and in this essay I will share the reasons supporting that opinion. (Кажется, оба clause последнего предложения получились не особо связанными. Я бы сказал, что дам причины для поддержки моего мнения)

Teaching foreign language in the elementary school is an (что здесь артикль забыл? noun после important ожидался?) important for some reasons.
First of all, foreign language opens a door to a (сомневаюсь, что артикль нужен) new culture and tradition (одна традиция?) for a child. Children have an opportunity to know (узнать? discover же ну или get know на худой) different (есть подозрение, что foreign неуместно) foreign heroes and characters through fairy tales and cartoons in different foreign languages. (Сказки и мульты расскажут про героев?) In addition to this, it is important to mention that studying foreign language since childhood nurture's (что такое 's?) tolerance to other nationalities in child's mind. (каким образом это поможет? Не очевидно. Да и предложение какое-то несвязное получилось.)

Secondly, it is (артикль) commonly known fact that the best time for studying is in childhood (русизм что ли). Children easily memorise the (что за слова такие общеизвестные?) new words that we say. Hence (только что говорилось, что они запоминают легко, что мы говорим. Почему из этого следует, что важно учить?) it is important to teach for (не нужен) foreign language since childhood as kids can pick the new speech easily. (но это же повторение прошлого предложения)

And (Нельзя в эссе с and начинать предложения, нужен новый абзац здесь) lastly but not less (вообще в оригинале the last but not the least) important, is (как перед is запятая оказалась?) the fact that studying foreign language in elementary school is a (лишний) huge investment in child's future career. Nowadays, many companies, (не понятно) require from their future employees to speak one and in some cases even in two foreign languages (не смог я здесь).

To sum up, it is vital to include in elementary schools educational programm (это program of schools, можно еще curriculum) studying foreign languages as it enhance's (что такое 's?!) childs (children) both spiritual and practical world (что такое practical world?).

И везде foreign, language, child и schools. В общем, всё не очень.
Чем мог помог.

[julyp]

There is an opinion that (a) studying foreign language in the elementery (elementary) school must be compulsory. ('in the elementary school' at the end of the sentence) Personally, I agree with that (this?) statement (comma) and in this essay I will share the (? without the) reasons supporting that (this?) opinion.

Teaching (a) foreign language in the elementery school is an (important is adjective) important for some reasons.
First of all, (a) foreign language opens a door to a new culture and tradition(s?) for a child. Children have an opportunity to know different foreign heroes and characters through fairy tales and cartoons in different foreign languages. In addition of (to) this it is important to mention that studying (a) foreign language since childhood nurture's tollerance (do not understand. What is it?) (tolerance) to other nationalities in child's mind.

Secondly, it is commonly known fact that the best time for studying is in childhood. Children easily memorise the (without the?) new words that we say. Hence it is important to teach for (a) foreign language since childhood as kids can pick the new speech easily. And (without And ?) lastly but not less important (last but not least), (it) is the fact that studying (a) foreign language in elementery school is a huge investment in child's future career. Nowadays (comma) many companies, (without comma) require from their future employees to speak one (?) and in some cases even in two foreign languages.

To sum up with (without with) (comma) it is vital to include in (into?) elementery schools educational programm studying foreign languages as it enhance's (without ') childs (child's?) both spiritual and practical world.

[naun81]

получила результаты прошлого экзамена и- я в полном шоке!! 8ка за writing хотя думала что максимум на 7ку наскребется..
даже не знаю что думать- наверное все-таки General лучше оценивается)

вот мои письмена, если кому интересно - после экзамена сразу записала почти слово в слово

[naun81]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the purchase I have recently done in one of your stores and request replacement.

Last Friday I bought a solid oakwood wardrobe in your shop on Compton street, and it was delivered yesterday. To my disappointment, I found a huge scratch on the left door. I wouldn't mind if it was on the side, but being on the front side made it easily visible, which is unacceptable.

I suppose the damage was made while packaging and delivery. I have noticed that delivery workers were in a hurry, and that there was not enough packaging material to protect the furniture from being damaged.

As I am satisfied with the purchase except the damage, could you please arrange the replacement as soon as possible? Also, I would recommend you to provide some education to your logistic workers to prevent such issues in future.

Thank you in advance. I will wait for prompt response.

Yours faithfully,
Nat.
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With increasing life expectancy, the question of whether those aged 65 should remain in the workforce or retire has evolved as a subject of a debate in the society. This essay will analyze both viewpoints before my personal opinion is drawn.

Supporters of the idea that employee age should be restricted believe this to be a viable solution to recent rise in unemployment rates. For example, according to the data published by the Ministry of Labour, over 43% of job seekers are aged under 42, with significant share of recent graduates. These young people might benefit from taking over the positions currently occupied by elder. Thus, it is clear why many agree that employees should retire when reach age of 65.

However, others argue that maintaining employment status is essential for aged in order to be financially independent. Numerous surveys and polls reveal that only small number of citizens (less than 15%) are satisfied with current pension schemes and feel safe about their lives after retirement. Taking into consideration that life expectancy increased dramatically, people should provide themselves for many more years than in the past. Therefore, it is clear why many think elder should work without any regulations regarding their age.

Both camps have strong and logical arguments to support their positions. However, in my personal opinion, it is unfair and immoral to force individuals to quit their jobs on a basis of their age with no regard to financial situation.

[sergey_a]

Блин, в эссе стиль четенький вообще! Классно почитать было Молодца)))