My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Yusik]

Хорошо, только наверно тут не нужен present continuous
Olympic Games or football cups are helping to ease international tensions - are helpful for easing international tensions

[Elena.D]

Help to ease?

[Elena.D]

Потом я бы перешла к вопросу Кто? (Политики? И зрители? Вряд ли же сами спортсмены, у них как раз таки противостояние и война, что снова не подойдёт к fully agree)

[Yusik]

Потом я бы перешла к вопросу Кто? (Политики? И зрители? Вряд ли же сами спортсмены, у них как раз таки противостояние и война, что снова не подойдёт к fully agree)

Oh dear that's so overcomplicated

Давайте к другой теме перейдем. Какие еще темы самые сложные? Социальные вопросы пожалуй легче всего, т.к. можно легко себя представить в такой ситуации. Тяжелее всего темы Science, Technology, они требуют хотя бы поверхностного понимания и специфической лексики, может, сосредоточиться на них?

Как вам например такая жуткая тема?
"As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order
to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people,
yet it is no longer mere science fiction.
To what extent do you agree with such a procedure?
Have you any reservations?"

[Elena.D]

Чума. Откуда эта тема?

[Yusik]

Отсюда: Human Cloning Essay - IELTS Sample Essays

[Yusik]

Еще вариант:
Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Господа, берите темы из официальных и проверенных источников. Темы, которые вы тут 'раскрываете' не могут быть раскрыты вообще, потому что они rubbish.

И если ваш английский не позволяет вам это видеть, то тогда тем более надо брать темы только из официальных и проверенных источников.

Сначала вот это: http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/45491...ml#post4943743

Теперь вот это: http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/45491...ml#post4950895


Ну как же так можно?!

[Yusik]

As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people, yet it is no longer mere science fiction.
To what extent do you agree with such a procedure?
Have you any reservations

Modern biotechnologies made it possible to create clone of mammals or human and an idea have been risen to use specially raised clones as organ donors. Technically, it gives possibility to provide patient with organ absolutely identical with his or her own, but healthy, which will cause no rejection by immune system. However, I consider this idea (as) inhuman and immoral, and there is an objective facts to claim this.

Technology of human cloning enables scientists to create living organism from oocyte by changing its nucleus, whereupon clone passes all the same stages of development as a fetus conceived in a natural way, inside the uterine of surrogate mother who gives it a birth. As a result, new human being with the same genotype as original person is being created, and that is where the problems begin. If newborn cloned child is healthy and normally developed, as it is needed for the aim mentioned above, then he or she is a fully valuable human being, which has own consciousness. Despite the having the same chromosome set as his origin, clone cannot be considered as the copy of his origin; he becomes different life experience from the birth, and therefore becomes a different, independent personality, whose interests and needs are as much valuable as ones of initial person. Due to this, it is not appropriate to sacrifice one human being to improve health of another.

However, in case if technology that gives possibility to grow separate organs outside the human body, without creating a whole organism, was created, it would be a scientific breakthrough, a real wonder that would make unbelievable changes in medicine. All injured or dysfunctional organs would be replaced by new ones, and would help to defeat many diseases and drastically increase lifespan.

Thus, I consider creating clones of entire human body contradicting the concept of humanity, but I hope that cloning of separate organs will be possible in the future.

[Yusik]

ОК, вот тема из официального источника:


In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with
other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes
the government has to pay for this care.
Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from
your own knowledge or experience.

https://www.ielts.org/~/media/pdfs/115030_general_training_writing_sample_task_-_task_2.ashx


Раскрываем

[Тина]

Действительно, ребят, просмотрела последние несколько тем - откуда они?
Зачем писать эссе на тему, формулировка которой сильно отличается от той что есть в аелтс? В Аелтс вообще все эссе разбиваются на несколько типов. И вам, как готовящимся к сдаче следует тренироваться именно по основным типам и именно по реальным формулировкам. Когда вы напишите по 10-20 эссе каждого типа, вы уже будете видеть тип сразу и будете сразу знать что писать и в каком стиле. Вам самим будет легче...
Сейчас вы делаете себе только хуже, когда пишите эссе на разные темы но с формулировками не относящимися к аелтс... только путаете себя. Реально невозможно раскрыть тему если задание этого не дает сделать...

[Noded]

Доброго времени суток. Начинаю новую итерацию, написал для начала это эссе, если можно, прошу покритиковать

Cycling has many benefits, yet in some countries there is a decrease in the number of people using bicycles as their main form of transportation. Why is it happening? Give suggestions how to encourage people to use bicycles again.

There are many merits in bicycle riding, however, in certain countries the amount of people, who rely on their bikes as a primary transportation device, is declining. This essay discusses the reasons for this phenomenon and provides possible suggestions, how to make the bicycle popular again.

The main reason for a popularity decrease of bicycle riders is the increase of average income of the citizens in the developing countries, like China or Vietnam. For example, once the majority of the population of these countries could afford only a bike for commuting in their cities, however as the citizens of these countries became rich, they switched to vehicles and motorcycles. In addition, the public roads in these countries became a dangerous place for people, who continued to ride a bike. As a result of this people prefer to use a bicycle as little as possible.

There are several ways to make a bicycle popular again. The most efficient way is education. For example, people should be aware of the positive effects to their health, done by bicycle riding or damage to the environment done by cars. Another suggestion, how to make a bicycle popular again, is improvement of the riding infrastructure. A good example of this improvement can be European cities, where many side roads were built especially for bike riders. As a result of this cycle path network, bicycle riding became popular again.

In conclusion, it seems to me the reasons for a bicycle popularity decrease are the wealth of the population and road hazards. Given this situation it seems to me that awareness about the benefits of regular bicycle riding along with the improvement of riding infrastructure can make the regular commuting on a bike popular again.

Заранее спасибо

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Доброго времени суток. Начинаю новую итерацию, написал для начала это эссе, если можно, прошу покритиковать


There are many merits in bicycle riding, however, in certain countries the amount of people, who rely on their bikes as a primary transportation device, is declining.

Я прочитала только первое предложение. На самом деле, я прочитала только до слова people. Но заставила себя закончить предложение.
Дальше, простите, не хочется, потому что перед тем как писать надо все-таки ознакомиться с английским языком. Ошибки - красным.

Начните с этого: http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/21900...F6-%F2%EE.html

[Yusik]

Тема из Cambridge IELTS 5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?


It is claimed, that universities should take care to enroll the same quantity of students of each gender for every specialty. I tend to mostly agree with this position.

In our time, men and women are officially granted with equal rights, and every person can choose one’s profession and career accordingly to the heart’s dictate, regardless of the gender. However, in the real life things are not so perfect, as they are on the paper. Stereotypes are very strong in a public opinion; still there are some professions, considered as men’s or women’s. Due to this, if school graduate pick a profession not corresponding with his or her gender, then he or she faces pressure from society. As a result of this pressure, whether it expressed in a friendly form like showing amazement or making jokes, or hostile, when a person gets a serious push-backs, profession of one’s dream can be rejected in the favor of unloved but socially approved career. I suppose that if universities spread information that they welcome students regardless of their gender, it helps young people in making right decision.

What is most dangerous is that prejudices exist not only in common people’s minds, but also in the heads of university authorities who make decision about accepting students. It is not uncommon when female candidates get refusal because the subject they applying for is traditionally men’s area and decision makers do not believe that female graduates will not be appropriate for it. I suppose that sometimes such discriminating decisions are made subconsciously, without realizing a bias of it.

Considering all mentioned, I believe that if universities make a rule to maintain gender balance among their students, it will help to overcome sexual discrimination and provide society with good specialists interested in what they do.

[Yusik]

Из недавних реальных тем IELTS, тема, интересная для любого потенциального эмигранта

Some people prefer to live on one place, while others tend to move. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

Plan

- Preferences of staying: living in familiar environment, keeping connection with your roots.

- Arguments to move: one can choose better place for working and development



There are two categories of people: the first of them prefers to live the whole life in the place where they were born, the second catches every opportunity to change the place of living. I my essay, I will discuss both of these positions and express my opinion.

The people who thing that there is no better place for anyone that his hometown or land state that main advantage of living in the place where you were born gives you possibility to stay in touch with you family, keenmen, and childhood friends. This people who you have known from your early years will never betray you, and you can always ask them for help and rely on them.

The representatives of other category claim that a native locality not always gives the best opportunities for the person to develop one’s skills and talents and to fulfill one’s potential. For instance, when finding a worthy job is not possible to someone in the area where one lives, there can be, meanwhile, a wide range of job opportunities for certain profession in other region or country. Furthermore, someone can simply feel oneself not belonging to one’s homeland.

Thereby, there are persuasive arguments for both points of view, and decision between them only depends on everyone’s constitution of mind, priorities, and life circumstances. I personally belong to the type of people who easily change their place of living in search of better life; I had moved few times already and now I intend to emigrate to another country.

Чем могу похвастаться - ровно 255 слов
Буду рада любой конструктивной критике.