My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[NortT]

Maimiti_Isabella, ясно. Просто дело в том, что я обсуждал с преподом то эссе и сказал ему про streaming, на что он он ответил, что он вообще не слышал этого слова в таком контексте (он американец), поэтому решил спросить у вас, чтобы определиться, какое из них использовать в случае чего.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

02.04.16 экзамен Посмотрите пож мое эссе )
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Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present.

Discuss the two views and give your own opinion.
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Question related to the role of history in our life is frequently discussed nowadays.While some people think that history is not playing vital role, other individuals have opposite views. Let us discuss both sides of this issue.

Простите, но вы же, по-моему, 'не первый раз замужем'?! Или я Вас с кем-то спутала? Тогда, извините.

1. a question / questions
2. playing vital role в чем конкретно? В предыдущем предложении разговор шел о вопросах - это и есть вопрос? О чем данное предложение и как оно соотносится с заданием?
3. Let us - no comments как говорится

[Тина]

Посмотрите пожалуйста мое очередное эссе.
На 7 не тянет?
Экзамен в субботу, 5го..
Буду очень благодарна любым советам. Понимаю что за несколько дней улучшить уже ничего не получится, но может кто-то сталкивался с такой же ситуацией и что-то подскажет?
Пока решила просто проработать максимум топиков - прописать планы или просто продумать как можно ответить, т.к. у меня самая большая проблема в идеях...

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally.
What are the advantages and the disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Over the last few decades globalization, particularly tourism, has influenced the worldwide spoken language significantly. Nowadays English is by far the most used language in the world. It is considered by some that English will be the only language in future. This essay will analyze main benefits and drawbacks of having one language in the world.

The main advantage of having only one language for world’s population is no borders in communication. People all around the globe could interact with each other and share their knowledge and experience. Not only authorities of the countries or scientists, but also poor citizens from different countries could ask advice and propose help to each other. Moreover, there will be no inconveniences for travelers as they will be understood in every single country.

However, with the extinction of diversity of languages all around the world, the variety of cultures and traditions could also extinct. There will be not only a global language, but also a global culture. It can affect world’s population badly as people will not be interested in travelling anymore. Furthermore, without own cultures and traditions countries could not have their own individualities and it could have adverse effect on society.

In conclusion, it is obvious that there are both advantages and disadvantages in having only one language in the world. However, the drawbacks outweigh benefits, thus it is better for nations to retain their own languages while learn English as a second language.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

GM сдаю в первый раз ... раньше эссе вроде не выкладывал

значит с кем-то спутала. Сорри

Можно Вас спросить? На какой бал это эссе?

Мне думается, что 6.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Посмотрите пожалуйста мое очередное эссе.
На 7 не тянет?
Экзамен в субботу, 5го..
Буду очень благодарна любым советам. Понимаю что за несколько дней улучшить уже ничего не получится, но может кто-то сталкивался с такой же ситуацией и что-то подскажет?
Пока решила просто проработать максимум топиков - прописать планы или просто продумать как можно ответить, т.к. у меня самая большая проблема в идеях...

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally.
What are the advantages and the disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Over the last few decades globalization, particularly tourism, has influenced the worldwide spoken language significantly. Nowadays English is by far the most used language in the world. It is considered by some that English will be the only language in future. This essay will analyze main benefits and drawbacks of having one language in the world.

The main advantage of having only one language for world’s population is no borders in communication. People all around the globe could interact with each other and share their knowledge and experience. Not only authorities of the countries or scientists, but also poor citizens from different countries could ask advice and propose help to each other. Moreover, there will be no inconveniences for travelers as they will be understood in every single country.

However, with the extinction of diversity of languages all around the world, the variety of cultures and traditions could also extinct. There will be not only a global language, but also a global culture. It can affect world’s population badly as people will not be interested in travelling anymore. Furthermore, without own cultures and traditions countries could not have their own individualities and it could have adverse effect on society.

In conclusion, it is obvious that there are both advantages and disadvantages in having only one language in the world. However, the drawbacks outweigh benefits, thus it is better for nations to retain their own languages while learn English as a second language.

Если повезет, то получите свою 7-ку. Т.е. я не вижу крепкой твердой надежной 7-ки, но надежда все-таки есть
extinct - adj --> to become/be extinct
no borders in communication --> no barriers in communication
affect world’s population badly --> can have a detrimental / adverse / harmful effect
thus - similar to however, therefore, moreover, etc as far as their role in the sentence is concerned.

И решите, американский или британский английский. А то в одном случае travelers с одим l, а в другом travelling с двумя. Нехорошо!

[Тина]

Если повезет, то получите свою 7-ку. Т.е. я не вижу крепкой твердой надежной 7-ки, но надежда все-таки есть
extinct - adj --> to become/be extinct
no borders in communication --> no barriers in communication
affect world’s population badly --> can have a detrimental / adverse / harmful effect
thus - similar to however, therefore, moreover, etc as far as their role in the sentence is concerned.

И решите, американский или британский английский. А то в одном случае travelers с одим l, а в другом travelling с двумя. Нехорошо!

Спасибо большое за комментарии, ошибки и надежду!
Понимаю что получу 7 если повезет с топиком и если сильно не растеряюсь. А так еще надо учить, читать, расширять словарный запас и писать, писать, писать эссе. Надеюсь на удачу!

Английский стараюсь учить британский. Но конечно иногда тяжело, т.к.раньше ж учила американский...
Analyse ведь через s если британский?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Спасибо большое за комментарии, ошибки и надежду!
Понимаю что получу 7 если повезет с топиком и если сильно не растеряюсь. А так еще надо учить, читать, расширять словарный запас и писать, писать, писать эссе. Надеюсь на удачу!

Английский стараюсь учить британский. Но конечно иногда тяжело, т.к.раньше ж учила американский...
Analyse ведь через s если британский?

The most important thing is consistency, especially when using the same word (travel).

Analyze vs. analyse - yep, AmE vs. BrE but modern English is not that fussy anymore.

[Тина]

The most important thing is consistency, especially when using the same word (travel).

Analyze vs. analyse - yep, AmE vs. BrE but modern English is not that fussy anymore.

Thank you very much!

[NortT]

Посмотрите пожалуйста мое очередное. Спасибо.

Nowadays young people know less about traditions and culture than in the past. What are the reasons for it? What can be done to improve this situation?

In today’s world, youngsters became more ignorant of the culture of their countries than some decades ago. In this essay, some of the reasons, caused the above-mentioned problem, will be analyzed and possible actions, which can be taken to tackle the issue, will be shown.

Firstly, one of the reasons that the young generation forgets the tradition of their ancestors is the globalization. Involving into the globalization process, many countries have lost their individuality because the western culture dissolves the cultural diversity of these countries. In spite of the fact that it is impossible to stop the globalization, the governments should deal with its effects. For example, special classes revealing different aspects of indigenous culture might be included in a school curriculum.

The next reason that adolescents have distanced from their own tradition is rooted in the idea that the pace of contemporary life is extremely fast. Studying at university or working, young adults simply do not have enough time which might be dedicated to traditional crafts, music, or dances. In order to encourage youngster to explore the cultural aspects of their countries authorities can provide discounts for tickets to museums, performances, or exhibit.

In conclusion, among other problems affecting tradition, the globalization and the fast pace of life are the most noticeable. In order to preserve the cultural diversity of humankind special subjects might be introduced in schools or at universities. Moreover, the governments should deal with high entrance prices which often bar admission to cultural events.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Посмотрите пожалуйста мое очередное. Спасибо.

Nowadays young people know less about traditions and culture than in the past. What are the reasons for it? What can be done to improve this situation?

In today’s world, youngsters became more ignorant of the culture of their countries than some decades ago. In this essay, some of the reasons, caused the above-mentioned problem, will be analyzed and possible actions, which can be taken to tackle the issue, will be shown.

Firstly, one of the reasons that the young generation forgets the tradition of their ancestors is the globalization. Involving into the globalization process, many countries have lost their individuality because the western culture dissolves the cultural diversity of these countries. In spite of the fact that it is impossible to stop the globalization, the governments should deal with its effects. For example, special classes revealing different aspects of indigenous culture might be included in a school curriculum.

The next reason that adolescents have distanced from their own tradition is rooted in the idea that the pace of contemporary life is extremely fast. Studying at university or working, young adults simply do not have enough time which might be dedicated to traditional crafts, music, or dances. In order to encourage youngster to explore the cultural aspects of their countries authorities can provide discounts for tickets to museums, performances, or exhibit.

In conclusion, among other problems affecting tradition, the globalization and the fast pace of life are the most noticeable. In order to preserve the cultural diversity of humankind special subjects might be introduced in schools or at universities. Moreover, the governments should deal with high entrance prices which often bar admission to cultural events.

Some good vocab., good essay organisation. I think it might get you a 7.

But i can't for the life of me understand why it is 'in schools' but 'at universities'

И о пользе номинализации для поднятия оценки - it is a case of a missed opportunity again.

In order to preserve the cultural diversity of humankind special subjects might be introduced in schools or at universities.
--> Introducing ...

[NortT]

Some good vocab., good essay organisation. I think it might get you a 7.

Круто

But i can't for the life of me understand why it is 'in schools' but 'at universities'

Ну потому что вот. Вы лайкнули и не опровергли

уже говорила о пользе номинализации

Использовал дважды: Involving into the globalization process, many countries... и Studying at university or working, young adults.... Тот случай, на который вы указали, не заметил к сожалению.

Спасибо за комментарий.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Ну потому что вот. Вы лайкнули и не опровергли
.

А там и не надо опровергать - все верно. Можно. Но надо же в каждом отдельном случае выбрать что-то одно.

[Daphna]

Too much use of the word "nowadays" I reckon. By all of you. Not very popular word nowadays

[NortT]

Daphna, во всех своих 44 эссе ни разу не использовал

Еще хотел спросить. Слово tradition правильно использовано? В задании стоит traditions (задание не из оф. источников), но судя по словарю в данном контексте должно быть неисчесляемое tradition.

[Daphna]

Да tradition, хотя нам ментально хотелось бы traditions. Это одна из трудностей для русских. Где-то была книжка у меня "Наиболее частые ошибки русскоговорящих". Надо поискать.