My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Customs]

Господа, надо же чтобы каждая из 4 секций была не ниже 6.0 ? я имею ввиду, что если overall получается проходной 6.0, но в одной из секций 5.5, то это мимо кассы?)

[Dmytri]

Вы правы, к сожалению мимо кассы. Очень часто вся загвоздка бывает именно в 0.5 балла по спикингу и/или райтингу.

[NortT]

Customs, как можно сказать мимо или не мимо, если вы не сказали даже куда вам это нужно. В некоторых региональных программах нужен оверал, например, если мне ничего не изменяет. Правда там чуть выше чем 6.

[Dmytri]

sorry, я имел ввиду требования к 189 и 190 визе

[Maimiti_Isabella]

I'm home today and tomorrow, feeling a bit under the weather.

This means I can check one or two essays (Task 1 will also do)

Please send your writing to my personal messages.

Check out the requirements before sending me any essays.


http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/45491...ml#post5054938

[Maimiti_Isabella]

I'm home today and tomorrow, feeling a bit under the weather.

This means I can check one or two essays (Task 1 will also do)

Please send your writing to my personal messages.

Check out the requirements before sending me any essays.


http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/45491...ml#post5054938

One down, any more to go?
I can take two more I guess.

[SunLady]

Добрый день,
последний раз сдала райтинг на 6ку, нужна 7ка. Майк Уотти пинает за логику. Посмотрите плиз, так ли все плохо?)

Question: some people think that criminal activities can be reduced by implementing long prison sentences. However, others think that it can be reduced effectively by alternative ways. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A highly controversial issue today relates to different strategies to reduce crime. Many people espouse the idea that increasing the length of prison sentences is an effective measure, whereas others are convinced that there are other options. Both sides of the argument will be analyzed before a logical conclusion is drawn and my own perspective is given.

From one point of view, increasing the severity of punishment should deter crime. This is because this method of deterrence is expected to scare individuals and prevent them from committing crime. Moreover, longer prison sentences, especially for major crimes, such as homicide, will help to keep criminals off the streets, and therefore prevent reoffending. To illustrate, if felons were convicted to life imprisonment for murder, they wouldn’t be able to hurt any more innocent civilians.

From another perspective, other options may prove to be more effective. It is often argued that increased safety is a powerful instrument of crime prevention. It can be achieved by sending more police cars to patrol streets and hiring more policemen. A second point is that community service can be a good alternative for prison sentence in case of minor crimes, committed by first-time offenders. This is because while helping people in need they can learn compassion and find pleasure in doing something selfless.

In conclusion, there are merits to both sides of the argument over whether longer prison sentences or alternative measures should be applied. However, after analyzing the issue, my personal view is that other methods are more effective. This is because increased safety prevents crimes, and substituting incarceration with community service eliminates the chances of first-time offenders being under deleterious influence in prison.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Добрый день,
последний раз сдала райтинг на 6ку, нужна 7ка. Майк Уотти пинает за логику. Посмотрите плиз, так ли все плохо?)

.

Не вижу проблем с 7-кой конкретно в этом эссе.

[SunLady]

Не вижу проблем с 7-кой конкретно в этом эссе.

Сообщение от SunLady
Добрый день,
последний раз сдала райтинг на 6ку, нужна 7ка. Майк Уотти пинает за логику. Посмотрите плиз, так ли все плохо?)

.
Не вижу проблем с 7-кой конкретно в этом эссе.

Спасибо большое!

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Спасибо большое!

Но не забываем, что 1/3 оценки - это Task 1

[Артем777]

Но не забываем, что 1/3 оценки - это Task 1

Я правильно Вас понял, 1/3 оценки - это за описание графика и 2/3 - за само эссе? Я просто думал 50/50, учитывая что описание графика нелегкое дело.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Я правильно Вас понял, 1/3 оценки - это за описание графика и 2/3 - за само эссе? Я просто думал 50/50, учитывая что описание графика нелегкое дело.

Вы меня простите, но меня понимать не надо! Надо читать официальные сайты! Начните с www.ielts.org

[Артем777]

Maimiti_Isabella, хорошо, спасибо!

[GMG]

Всем доброго дня. Если не затруднит, покритикуйте эссе пожалуйста. Нужно 7, general.

Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes.
Should these new homes be constructed in existing cities or should new towns be built in the countryside?

Nowadays, population in many countries is increasing and they need more homes. It is agreed that these houses should be constructed in countryside. This is because it helps to develop these areas and better for people’s health.

The main reason why I believe that new houses should be built in rural areas is because it can help to create new industrial places. As most people prefer live and work in same town and often do not like to spend too much time on commute. For example, if they live in new district some of them will run business; therefore, it can help to have more work places and be more independent from capitals. In addition, creating new towns could let countries have the growth of the economy. As they produce and sell something they can become new sources of money for budget. Unfortunately, it is difficult to run business and be successful in existing cities because of competition.

Another reason why I support the statement about constructing new homes in countryside is because it is better for people’s health. People who live in small towns or villages usually do not experience stress or hurry; therefore, they are often more relaxed. This atmosphere can help people to have healthy relationships between each other. Moreover, conditions of living in countryside such as quality of air and environment are better than in cities. Because of these factors building of new apartments should be outside of cities.

In conclusion, new houses should be constructed in countryside in order to have developed economy and provide better conditions for life. Given this situation, it seems that using this method can help countries be more independent and successful.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Всем доброго дня. Если не затруднит, покритикуйте эссе пожалуйста. Нужно 7, general.

Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes.
Should these new homes be constructed in existing cities or should new towns be built in the countryside?

Nowadays, population in many countries is increasing and they need more homes. It is agreed that these houses should be constructed in countryside. This is because it helps to develop these areas and better for people’s health.

The main reason why I believe that new houses should be built in rural areas is because it can help to create new industrial places. As most people prefer live and work in same town and often do not like to spend too much time on commute. For example, if they live in new district some of them will run business; therefore, it can help to have more work places and be more independent from capitals. In addition, creating new towns could let countries have the growth of the economy. As they produce and sell something they can become new sources of money for budget. Unfortunately, it is difficult to run business and be successful in existing cities because of competition.

Another reason why I support the statement about constructing new homes in countryside is because it is better for people’s health. People who live in small towns or villages usually do not experience stress or hurry; therefore, they are often more relaxed. This atmosphere can help people to have healthy relationships between each other. Moreover, conditions of living in countryside such as quality of air and environment are better than in cities. Because of these factors building of new apartments should be outside of cities.

In conclusion, new houses should be constructed in countryside in order to have developed economy and provide better conditions for life. Given this situation, it seems that using this method can help countries be more independent and successful.

Судя по этому эссе, до 7 путь неблизкий.