My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Sergio]

2. I expect a full return of 200 dollars - наверно лучше I want you to refund full cost of или the full cost of food processor should be refunded ну или что то такое....

А где же важные в этих случаях слова claim, court ?

[kyp]

А где же важные в этих случаях слова claim, court ?

ну это не ко мне, а к автору не уверен вообще что офф письма должны содержать что то типа "Я требую! А то я на вас в суд подам!"

[Happiko]

Hi Natalya,
Sorry I cant comment here in Russian as my Russian is very pooooooooor
So I decided to write my suggestions in English. Hope you don't mind. But if you have questions to me regarding your essay, you can write in Russian as I understand and it will help to improve my Russian. So let`s move to the main topic. Actually I saw your essay the other day but I had hoped somebody else would check it. Your English is pretty good and it is difficult to find any grammar mistakes. But I wanted to suggest you rewrite your essay. Because your answer is a bit far from the main point. For instance, if I read your essay without seeing the question I would give a title to your essay like “ How to choose a profession” or “travel before working” and so on. Here you have two main questions. One is “Do you know that young pupil travel abroad right after graduating high school?” Second is “ is it good or bad? and why it is bad or good?”
So, please try to reformulate your essay and see the difference. You may leave some of your sentences. I`ll be back here to comment your revised essay. I am sure you`ll write more interesting. Good luck!

[Sade]

1. the "Stop" button broken off - всё таки broken down как минимум. Потму что если б она действительно отвалилась вы бы не смогли повторить после unplag'a
2. I expect a full return of 200 dollars - наверно лучше I want you to refund full cost of или the full cost of food processor should be refunded ну или что то такое....

спасибо!
off / down - не могу легко с ними обращаться...

to Sergio
слова "требования" должны обязательно присутствовать?

[ItGirl]

спасибо!

to Sergio
слова "требования" должны обязательно присутствовать?

Можно я вставлю свои 5 копеек Скорее нужно вежливо написать, что Вы ожидаете решение проблемы в качестве возмещения полной стоимости товара. У Вас идея верна, но "я ожидаю...я хочу" звучит как-то грубо что ли.

[Sade]

Можно я вставлю свои 5 копеек Скорее нужно вежливо написать, что Вы ожидаете решение проблемы в качестве возмещения полной стоимости товара. У Вас идея верна, но "я ожидаю...я хочу" звучит как-то грубо что ли.

ну вот... так какие обороты лучше использовать, чтобы выдержать тему и остаться вежливым?

[natalya_ielts]

Hi Natalya,
Sorry I cant comment here in Russian as my Russian is very pooooooooor
So I decided to write my suggestions in English. Hope you don't mind. But if you have questions to me regarding your essay, you can write in Russian as I understand and it will help to improve my Russian. So let`s move to the main topic. Actually I saw your essay the other day but I had hoped somebody else would check it. Your English is pretty good and it is difficult to find any grammar mistakes. But I wanted to suggest you rewrite your essay. Because your answer is a bit far from the main point. For instance, if I read your essay without seeing the question I would give a title to your essay like “ How to choose a profession” or “travel before working” and so on. Here you have two main questions. One is “Do you know that young pupil travel abroad right after graduating high school?” Second is “ is it good or bad? and why it is bad or good?”
So, please try to reformulate your essay and see the difference. You may leave some of your sentences. I`ll be back here to comment your revised essay. I am sure you`ll write more interesting. Good luck!

Happiko, thank you for your attention. Right understanding of topic is my weakness. I'll try to rewrite the essay and post it once again.

[ItGirl]

ну вот... так какие обороты лучше использовать, чтобы выдержать тему и остаться вежливым?

Ну, я бы написала I would be grateful if you could... (заменить, починить, вернуть..). Или the best solution of this problem could be.. (возврат, замена т .п.).

[Sade]

Ну, я бы написала I would be grateful if you could... (заменить, починить, вернуть..). Или the best solution of this problem could be.. (возврат, замена т .п.).

ok, учту. Спасибо!

[Sade]

to Alexander Usov
часто встречаются временные нестыковки.
например:

We were always satisfied with quality of food and drinks at the restaurant before. However, on the 15 of November we ordered five bottles of bear “Read Bull” and bear was extremely old. I don’t believe that the quality of such well-known product can be so awful.

В первом предложении нужен Perfect tense: We had been satisfied with quality of food and drinks at the restaurant before. В прошедшем времени, т.к. следующее предложение именно в этом времени.
В последнем предложении не понятно, что хотел автор сказать. Если следовать написанному, по получается что Вы не верите (в общем, т.к. используется настоящее простое время), что качество продукта ....
На мой взгляд лучше бы написать так (соблюдая времена): I couldn't believe that....

и т.д. Вот..

[_Dreamer_]

Привет всем! Очень прошу проверить мои старания, если нат возможности проверить, то хотябы прочтите и вкратце скажите на что обратить внимание. Очень важно ваше мнение, за раннее спасибо.

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

There is a challenge of presenting useful gifts for lovely offspring exist. There is no doubt, that contradictions and a lot of debates concerning this point can affect the choice. To my mind a simple laptop is extremely useful gift for children, and in this essay a couple of reasons to prove this point of view will be given.

First of all, laptop give an opportunity to enjoy a huge verity of games, movies and music, consequently this will keep children engaged in spectacular process of adventures, for example. Thus, such an amazing present like simple laptop can bring to children a lot of joy, emotions, moreover they obviously will be grateful to their parents as well. In fact, satisfaction of children is the number one priority for responsible parents.

Secondly, one more step towards children`s development is social prosperity. It is well-known fact that having a computer is extremely broads a horizon and it is a grate opportunity to meet new friends due to internet access. Communication with friends will involve children in social life and sometimes this crucial issue can overweight any others pluses.

And finally, granting a laptop is an apparently smart decision. On more advantage of computing is its usability indeed. It can be used either in order to make interactive educational process, or finding, processing and storing interesting information, or just chatting with friends online.

To sum up all that have been mentioned before, it is well understandable that laptop have more good points than bad ones. However, it is up to parents to take into consideration all the circumstances and consequences in order to make a decision.

[_Dreamer_]

вот еще одно. Спасибо за раннее.
The average British child between the age of 4 and 15 watches more than 20 hour of television a week. Studies show she/he only spend 7 hour per week on physical exercise. How does this compare with the situation in your country? How can parents make sure children get enough exercise.

The dramatic statistic indicated that in Britain the majority of children watch television about 20 hours a week, in comparison with sport activities about 7 hours. Unfortunately, the Ukrainian youths has similar problems, that can affect the entire country and future generations. In this essay a couple of methods to prevent the spreading up such an addiction will be given.

First of all, parents have to show their own example of physical prosperity in order to explain the importance of exercises in stead of seating in front of TV. In fact, examples are the number one educational tools that parents have in their disposal. Moreover, spectating another people`s behavior makes children to be under effect of subconscious influence and they get awareness though their own conclusions as well.

Secondly, the crucial step towards physical development of children is giving them an opportunity to take part in different championships and tournaments. Indeed, creating a good basis for outdoor`s physical activities can be achieved by attending various sport`s sections. Moreover, on the flip side, it can be useful due to communication with efficient trainers and professionals in sport`s issues.

Finally, tricks of creating positive attitude to physical exercises can be extremely unpredictable. For instance, sometimes it is easier to let children make the choice personally , despite of the fact, that it will be the wrong one. Thereby, offspring can realize the negative impact of spending time near the TV.

To summarize all that was mentioned before, it is well understandable that the problem of nonsufficient sport`s activity is international, but it could be overcome due to implementing smart ideas into social awareness.

[ziyoda]

Vash Essay mne ponravilsa to esli vam nujon sdavat ILTS to u vas struktura nemnogo ne dorabotana. kstati ya pisala ne etu temu toje essay tak kak jelatelno ne povtoryatsa ya pisala gdeto colse adults vmesto parents.

[ziyoda]

Привет всем! Очень прошу проверить мои старания, если нат возможности проверить, то хотябы прочтите и вкратце скажите на что обратить внимание. Очень важно ваше мнение, за раннее спасибо.

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

There is a challenge of presenting useful gifts for lovely offspring exist. There is no doubt, that contradictions and a lot of debates concerning this point can affect the choice. To my mind a simple laptop is extremely useful gift for children, and in this essay a couple of reasons to prove this point of view will be given.

First of all, laptop give an opportunity to enjoy a huge verity of games, movies and music, consequently this will keep children engaged in spectacular process of adventures, for example. Thus, such an amazing present like simple laptop can bring to children a lot of joy, emotions, moreover they obviously will be grateful to their parents as well. In fact, satisfaction of children is the number one priority for responsible parents.

Secondly, one more step towards children`s development is social prosperity. It is well-known fact that having a computer is extremely broads a horizon and it is a grate opportunity to meet new friends due to internet access. Communication with friends will involve children in social life and sometimes this crucial issue can overweight any others pluses.

And finally, granting a laptop is an apparently smart decision. On more advantage of computing is its usability indeed. It can be used either in order to make interactive educational process, or finding, processing and storing interesting information, or just chatting with friends online.

To sum up all that have been mentioned before, it is well understandable that laptop have more good points than bad ones. However, it is up to parents to take into consideration all the circumstances and consequences in order to make a decision.

Essay horoshiy struktura pravelnoe 7 tochno poluchite

[ziyoda]

Provetre pojalusta my essay.

Children are engaaged in some kind of paid works. Some people regard this as completlly wrong, while others consider iy as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.


Some people say that child labour is major period of time in their life for being thought. On this essay I will try to discuss advantages and disadvantahes of child labour.
On the plus side, there are families where children are growing up in bad environment and this children can have tempt like drinking, smiking, pretty thieft and drug traffic. Therefore, it would be better if children are working, having own money and taking responsobility. Moreover, when children work they are feeling life of adults ant it will be usefull in their future life.
Howevere, there are several munuses of child labour. Firstly, there is school's standarts where we can clearly see that children must study at school and they are not allowed to work. What is more, children need the time for learning just teory. On the top of that physiologically children do not ready for work and make a decision oneself. Also children must be under parents care. Futhermore, children need simple things like watch TV, play computer, play sports, go out with friends and others hobbies.
To sum up, some people see children labour as importand period of time where children are becoming responsible. In my personal opinion, children have short time which named childhood and adults must give them chance to being child.


Заранее всем спасибо за то что уделили свое время.