My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Alexizzz]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

[Lavrentiy]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

What a monstrous essay! Good English but written by a little Hitler. Thinking of a career in prison service, an executioner perhaps? I bet you used to torture cats and dogs when you were small and shoot at pidgeons' feet with a sling. To quickly and humanely kill an aminal is one thing, to torture and torment the poor creature for "research purposes" is another. There is a "SLIGHT" difference. Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from! You have really upset me. NO VISA FOR ALEXIZZZ! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! We don't need people like you in the West because here we care!

[VOlya]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

What a monstrous essay! Good English but written by a little Hitler. Thinking of a career in prison service, an executioner perhaps? I bet you used to torture cats and dogs when you were small and shoot at pidgeons' feet with a sling. To quickly and humanely kill an aminal is one thing, to torture and torment the poor creature for "research purposes" is another. There is a "SLIGHT" difference. Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from! You have really upset me. NO VISA FOR ALEXIZZZ! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! We don't need people like you in the West because here we care!

Да уж... Либо это издевательство, либо это болезнь. Не надо забывать, что на экзамене проверяют и моральные качества человека, и негласно, это тоже влияет на оценку.

[VOlya]

И эссе ...

It is better for boys and girls to study separately rather than study in mixed sex classes. They are less distracted and this leads to better results.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Throughout last centuries tuition[1] had mostly separate form. But nowadays, exactly last decades mixed study[2] become more commonly[3] in our life. In my opinion, this form of study had [4] more [5] benefits. Moreover, I disagree with main topic statement on several reason, some of them I give below[6].

First of all, I would like to mention about communication skills in private life. When boys and girls mixed all their life[7] they know better each other. They understand requires, habits, interests each other and many another things about their usual life. For instance, I finished mixed school and it bring [8] me only benefits in my own life and make [9] my married life happy. This fact good supported [10] my first reason.

Not only that [11], but mixed life [12] since childhood give people more advantages in social life and [13] in the work. Moreover, when study had been mixing women became more successful in public life [14]. For instance, significantly changed rules of vote [15]. Nowadays, women can take a vote for chosen [16] President, for example, or can vote for different party in Government. All this is very important aspect of social life.

In conclusion, I would like to say [17] that all those and another [18] reason support mixed tuition, because this form of study have [19] more significant advantages in our life for all of us [20]: in the home, in the work, in friendship and in another parts in our life.

ну вот, продолжаю выглядывать чужие ошибки и разбираться в своих...
1. Education
2. мне кажется, что study не совсем подходит, все таки образовательный процесс это education
3. commonly заменить popular или widespread
4. has
5. many
6. Это не совсем корректно, в конце утверждать, что вы не согласны с topic statement, с каким топиком? тут надо бы написать, что не согласны с тем, что обучение отдельно лучше.
7 Смешали (в прошлом!) все их жизни друг с другом... study in schools together ?
8 brings
9 makes
10 supports - ведь в настояшем времени?
11 Secondly, лучше бы было
12 mixed life - это как?
13 and work
14 Честно, я это предложение совсем не поняла.
15 For instance, rules of voting have significant changed
16 vote for the president of country vote - и так голосовать
17 ,
18 and another -лишнее, вы же о других не говорите? используйте только те, о которых вы говорили выше
19 has
20 in our life for all of us - что-то я не нашла подобных сочетаний в гугле

Честно, кажется что второй обзац про голосование "притянут за уши"...

[VOlya]

Здравствуйте Покритикуйте и мое, пожалуйста

Essay. Topic # 17:
Do the benefits of abroad justify the difficulties? What advice would you offer to a prospective student?

It is a difficult decision for student – to study abroad or not. Why so? – Because not all students studying abroad get more benefits than difficulties. The goal of this essay is to look for problems, which are waiting for many overseas students decided to study abroad.
At first, there are many advantages. Firstly, students learn foreign languages and get new friends in new country. Secondly, they have a possibility to study there specialities with new teachers or professors with some new methods of education. Then, they get a chance to travel in the country they are studying in and to look at it’s culture. It is very useful for most of overseas students.
On the other hand, they get a lot’s of problems. The biggest problem is language problem. For some people, especially students, it is very hard to feel themself convenient in foreign country with foreign culture and foreign language. It is also hard to study abroad without parents. And then, it is very hard to find a job after studying abroad.
However, all depends on a student. The person has to decide, if it is really useful to study abroad and why. Also it depends on a country and people their, on mentality.
In conclusion, I will offer to future students to think about reasons for and against studying abroad and to make a decision. If they really want to and need to, it won’t be a problem to study there.
Nowadays, it is very good to have an education in some countries. That’s why, the benefits of study abroad really justify the difficulties. It gives good chances in applying for a job or to get bigger salary and possibility to have a wonderful choice in it.

Знаю, что это очень слабо, в свое оправдание скажу, что я в совершенстве владею нем. языком и последние полгода только кое-как английским занялась...
Мне много не надо - через неделю Дженерал на 4.5 оверолл Как думаете, потянет?
Заранее спасибо

Я бы вам рекомендовала посмотреть формат эссе, там все просто. Ну и выучить пару клише для начала и конца. Нельзя использовать сокращенные формыв эссе. А что это за тема такая? Откуда взята? Странная она какая-то.

За полгода, это классный результат! Удачи вам!

[vnikitin]

Здравствуйте Покритикуйте и мое, пожалуйста

Essay. Topic # 17:
Do the benefits of abroad justify the difficulties? What advice would you offer to a prospective student?

It is a difficult decision for student – to study abroad or not. Why so? – Because not all students studying abroad get more benefits than difficulties. The goal of this essay is to look for problems, which are waiting for many overseas students decided to study abroad.
At first, there are many advantages. Firstly, students learn foreign languages and get new friends in new country. Secondly, they have a possibility to study there specialities with new teachers or professors with some new methods of education. Then, they get a chance to travel in the country they are studying in and to look at it’s culture. It is very useful for most of overseas students.
On the other hand, they get a lot’s of problems. The biggest problem is language problem. For some people, especially students, it is very hard to feel themself convenient in foreign country with foreign culture and foreign language. It is also hard to study abroad without parents. And then, it is very hard to find a job after studying abroad.
However, all depends on a student. The person has to decide, if it is really useful to study abroad and why. Also it depends on a country and people their, on mentality.
In conclusion, I will offer to future students to think about reasons for and against studying abroad and to make a decision. If they really want to and need to, it won’t be a problem to study there.
Nowadays, it is very good to have an education in some countries. That’s why, the benefits of study abroad really justify the difficulties. It gives good chances in applying for a job or to get bigger salary and possibility to have a wonderful choice in it.

Знаю, что это очень слабо, в свое оправдание скажу, что я в совершенстве владею нем. языком и последние полгода только кое-как английским занялась...
Мне много не надо - через неделю Дженерал на 4.5 оверолл Как думаете, потянет?
Заранее спасибо

Я бы вам рекомендовала посмотреть формат эссе, там все просто. Ну и выучить пару клише для начала и конца. Нельзя использовать сокращенные формыв эссе. А что это за тема такая? Откуда взята? Странная она какая-то.

За полгода, это классный результат! Удачи вам!

Спасибо большое!!!
Тема взята с неофициального сайта АЙЕЛТС - где-то была на него ссылка...
Спасибо за совет, я вот как раз скачала все видеоролики с ютуб - очень полезно
Кстати, здесь тоже очень полезная информация:
http://englishryan.blogspot.com/
Надеюсь, что на 5 осилю
П.С. Вам тоже удачи

[Irina_ru]

VOlya Спасибо большое за такой подробный расклад!
А можно по-подробнее про стандартные фразы? Я вроде всю тему про врайтинг прошерстила, но, может чего-то вылетело из головы или Вы что-то другое имеете ввиду?
Еще раз огромное спасибо за то что провозились с моим творчеством. Однако можно я у Вас вопросец спрошу? =) Я просто подумала, (я прочитала недавно историю Вашего изучения английского) и с недоумением смотрела на Ваши замечательный расклад моих текстов - такая методика тоже помогает в улучшении английского? Я просто вспомнила в учебниках часто бывают упражнения на "исправления".

newjerseyи И Вам спасибо большое. А то б я так и дальше недоумевала, а как же тогда кожа будет? Между прочим, atlas мне словарь перевел как атлас - ткань (Я просто не с русского на английский переводила, а в снглийского на русский. По принципу сначала напишу, потом думаю - проверяю).

I
сущ.; текст.

атлас (вид ткани)

fat city-ladies with tawdry atlasses — толстые городские дамы, разодетые в кричащие атласные ткани

http://lingvo.yandex.ru/en?text=atla...t_translate=on

Maimiti_Isabella Спасибо за оценку!

[Alexizzz]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

What a monstrous essay! Good English but written by a little Hitler. Thinking of a career in prison service, an executioner perhaps? I bet you used to torture cats and dogs when you were small and shoot at pidgeons' feet with a sling. To quickly and humanely kill an aminal is one thing, to torture and torment the poor creature for "research purposes" is another. There is a "SLIGHT" difference. Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from! You have really upset me. NO VISA FOR ALEXIZZZ! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! We don't need people like you in the West because here we care!

Do not exaggerate please! And do not try to humiliate also.
You are also confusing others making wrong assumptions about the way marks are state.

[vnikitin]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

What a monstrous essay! Good English but written by a little Hitler. Thinking of a career in prison service, an executioner perhaps? I bet you used to torture cats and dogs when you were small and shoot at pidgeons' feet with a sling. To quickly and humanely kill an aminal is one thing, to torture and torment the poor creature for "research purposes" is another. There is a "SLIGHT" difference. Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from! You have really upset me. NO VISA FOR ALEXIZZZ! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! We don't need people like you in the West because here we care!

Don't be afraid!!! I think a person has only a good imagination And it is quite well in this case Because it is really hard to write something interesting from 3 lines of the topic

[Alexizzz]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

What a monstrous essay! Good English but written by a little Hitler. Thinking of a career in prison service, an executioner perhaps? I bet you used to torture cats and dogs when you were small and shoot at pidgeons' feet with a sling. To quickly and humanely kill an aminal is one thing, to torture and torment the poor creature for "research purposes" is another. There is a "SLIGHT" difference. Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from! You have really upset me. NO VISA FOR ALEXIZZZ! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! We don't need people like you in the West because here we care!

Да уж... Либо это издевательство, либо это болезнь. Не надо забывать, что на экзамене проверяют и моральные качества человека, и негласно, это тоже влияет на оценку.

1. Нет здесь никакого издевательства и эссе соответствует теме и пост соответствует форуму, в отличие от ваших "камментов"
2. Мой нейтив-преподаватель поставил за него 6,5
3. Я полагал, что здесь собрались профессионалы, а не пустое трепло
4. НЕ ВВОДИТЕ ЛЮДЕЙ В ЗАБЛУЖДЕНИЕ! НА ЭКЗАМЕНЕ ОЦЕНИВАЕТСЯ ИСКЛЮЧИТЕЛЬНО ВЛАДЕНИЕ ЯЗЫКОМ, А НЕ УРОВЕНЬ ЗНАНИЙ И ТЕМ БОЛЕЕ УЖ НЕ МОРАЛЬНЫЕ КАЧЕСТВА
5. Кстати, о моральных качествах. Что именно в эссе позволяет вам сделать вывод об их недостаточном уровне?
6. По поводу кичения "западным" подходом. Свобода слова на западе относится к основным ценностям, а ваше реакция как раз является примером нетерпимости к точке зрения, не соответствующей вашей. "Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from!" - Same to you!

[VOlya]

VOlya Спасибо большое за такой подробный расклад!
А можно по-подробнее про стандартные фразы? Я вроде всю тему про врайтинг прошерстила, но, может чего-то вылетело из головы или Вы что-то другое имеете ввиду?
Еще раз огромное спасибо за то что провозились с моим творчеством. Однако можно я у Вас вопросец спрошу? =) Я просто подумала, (я прочитала недавно историю Вашего изучения английского) и с недоумением смотрела на Ваши замечательный расклад моих текстов - такая методика тоже помогает в улучшении английского? Я просто вспомнила в учебниках часто бывают упражнения на "исправления".

Про стандартные фразы
тема тут http://gday.ru/phorum/viewtopic.php?t=35926&start=100
и еще у меня в процессе написания эссе вырабаталось свое (вымученное) стандартное начало и конец, которые более менее подходили под все темы, а если не подходили, то я могла их можифицировать. если интересно. то может посмотреть мои творения в этой теме ориентировочно стр 11-12 Ребята очень помогли.

+ еще из роликов в конце абзаца сказать therefore, it is clear why some people thing that ... что-то там

vnikitin, Irina_ru
кстати вот здесь http://www.gday.ru/phorum/viewtopic.php?t=50064 alternative выкладывал все архивом РОЛИКИ+ЭССЕ+ПИСЬМА, очень удобно. Спасибо ему огромное. Сборка обалденная.
или тут: http://ru.youtube.com/profile?user=E...an&view=videos

Мне очень эти ролики помогли, и порядок написания предложений я взяла оттуда. Там четко описывается что должно быть в каждом предложении и абзаце. Я записывала все в свою тетрадку.

По поводу исправлений, я считаю что если видишь ошибки других, то такие делать уже не будешь. Проверяя других, вспоминаешь правила и видишь интересные находки, которые могут пригодится на экзамене. И еще у меня запоминание темы идет лучше, когда я кому-нибудь эту тему объясню. Перед экзаменом, нам с мужем приходилось проверять эссе друг друга, вот и навострились.
Irina_ru, а сколько вам надо баллов?

[VOlya]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.
...
In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

What a monstrous essay! Good English but written by a little Hitler. Thinking of a career in prison service, an executioner perhaps? I bet you used to torture cats and dogs when you were small and shoot at pidgeons' feet with a sling. To quickly and humanely kill an aminal is one thing, to torture and torment the poor creature for "research purposes" is another. There is a "SLIGHT" difference. Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from! You have really upset me. NO VISA FOR ALEXIZZZ! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! We don't need people like you in the West because here we care!

Да уж... Либо это издевательство, либо это болезнь. Не надо забывать, что на экзамене проверяют и моральные качества человека, и негласно, это тоже влияет на оценку.

1. Нет здесь никакого издевательства и эссе соответствует теме и пост соответствует форуму, в отличие от ваших "камментов"
2. Мой нейтив-преподаватель поставил за него 6,5
3. Я полагал, что здесь собрались профессионалы, а не пустое трепло
4. НЕ ВВОДИТЕ ЛЮДЕЙ В ЗАБЛУЖДЕНИЕ! НА ЭКЗАМЕНЕ ОЦЕНИВАЕТСЯ ИСКЛЮЧИТЕЛЬНО ВЛАДЕНИЕ ЯЗЫКОМ, А НЕ УРОВЕНЬ ЗНАНИЙ И ТЕМ БОЛЕЕ УЖ НЕ МОРАЛЬНЫЕ КАЧЕСТВА
5. Кстати, о моральных качествах. Что именно в эссе позволяет вам сделать вывод об их недостаточном уровне?
6. По поводу кичения "западным" подходом. Свобода слова на западе относится к основным ценностям, а ваше реакция как раз является примером нетерпимости к точке зрения, не соответствующей вашей. "Go back to the Dark Ages where you came from!" - Same to you!

Alexizzz, вам сделали замечание о моральное стороне вашего эссе, а вы на дыбы сразу? Эссе написано грамотно, этого никто не оспаривает. Но вы забываете, что тема защиты животных от негуманного использования для опытов - это очень актуальная тема и если бы вы более четко написали, что да, животных можно использовать в опытах, но делать это с осторожностью и стараться причинить им меньше вреда и т.д и т.п. то вы только выиграете.
А уж про чувства " Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it?" . т.е получается что вам пофиг до животных и их проблем?
Или вы что-то хотели сказать другое?

по п.3 конечно, профессионалы, иначе и быть не может! Каждый в своей области. Мы здесь все с одной целью - сдать экзамен, и помогаем как можем друг другу. Не нравится ответы людей, которые хотят вам помочь, совершенно безвозмездно? Ищите другие места.
по п.4 Я и не ввожу людей в заблуждение. исключительно владение языком, оценивается, увы, на других экзаменах. Тут куча примеров, когда из-за негативного отношения на спикинге людям ставили оценки ниже, чем был их реальный уровень. Почитайте истории.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

Очень неплохое и 'взвешенное' эссе с relevant arguments. Думаю, что 6.5 - 7 вполне реально

Для дальнейшего прогресса советую:
1 поработать над лексикой. Ваше эссе, к сожалению, не может похвастаться хорошим словарным запасом, а особенно синонимами.
2. Никто точно не знает как относиться к вопросам в эссе. В AmE - вполне разрешается. Но советую во избежания недоразумений избегать вопросов в эссе: IELTS marker, который может проверять Ваше эссе может быть 'старой школы'
3. поработайте над предложениями: они у Вас в основном похожи друг на друга

Там есть еще всякие мелкие ошибки (e.g. humanS, them в первом предложении, etc).

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Здравствуйте Покритикуйте и мое, пожалуйста

Essay. Topic # 17:
Do the benefits of abroad justify the difficulties? What advice would you offer to a prospective student?

....Мне много не надо - через неделю Дженерал на 4.5 оверолл Как думаете, потянет?
Заранее спасибо

Больше!

[Alexizzz]

Покритикуйте плз эссе:

Animals also have emotions and feel equal pain as humans. We should stop all pharmaceutical companies from doing trials on innocent animals. Give your opinion in not less than 250 words.

It is widely believed that animals have emotions and that human should protect them, preventing drug companies from doing trials on them. On the other hand, people use nature for their benefit in many different ways so it seems inconsistent to me to consider animal trials from the only point of view.

First of all, it should be proved that animals have emotions as a human. Personally speaking, it seems unlikely to me because animals have much less intellect in comparison with human.

If someone claims that animal can feel pain it looks to me like a feeble attempt to alter reality. Certainly they feel pain but why should people be concerned about it? Millions of people also feel pain because of different diseases.

On the other hand, people explore the planet and get advantage from its resources. Different animals are used by people for eating. In my opinion, to kill an animal to eat is not much better than to use it for a trial. When an animal is used for research it may not be killed but could get a great deal of benefit for people and sometimes some human lives could be saved.

In my opinion, we should not prevent progress from going on. Meanwhile, governments should restrict companies from doing non-recoverable damage to the environment. People should protect some kinds of animals from extinction. But the main purpose of progress should be the increasing of standards of life for people. Some kinds of animals could be used for these purposes.

Очень неплохое и 'взвешенное' эссе с relevant arguments. Думаю, что 6.5 - 7 вполне реально

Для дальнейшего прогресса советую:
1 поработать над лексикой. Ваше эссе, к сожалению, не может похвастаться хорошим словарным запасом, а особенно синонимами.
2. Никто точно не знает как относиться к вопросам в эссе. В AmE - вполне разрешается. Но советую во избежания недоразумений избегать вопросов в эссе: IELTS marker, который может проверять Ваше эссе может быть 'старой школы'
3. поработайте над предложениями: они у Вас в основном похожи друг на друга

Там есть еще всякие мелкие ошибки (e.g. humanS, them в первом предложении, etc).

Спасибо за assessment! Ваш ответ - первый профессиональный ответ на мое "творение" на этой ветке
Буду работать над синонимами.
Про вопросы - вы имеете ввиду т.н. риторические вопросы? Я, если честно, их тоже не люблю, но тут что-то не сдержался