My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Elena.D]

Maimiti_Isabella
Давно читаю, но молча (это по поводу одного сообщения)
Прочитаю, чес-слово! Мне надо 8 акад получить для аккредитации

[Maimiti_Isabella]

ElenaD,
я комментирую только в личные сообщения. Наберите 10 messages, и я прокомментирую.
У вас очень неплохой английский, но есть пару серьезных проблем. Если вы их не решите, то 8-ка не получится.

[Elena.D]

Maimiti_Isabella,
Какая жестокая несправедливость про 10 сообщений для молчунов, мяу
Хорошо, что только пара. Плохо, что серьёзных.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Maimiti_Isabella,
Какая жестокая несправедливость про 10 сообщений для молчунов, мяу
Хорошо, что только пара. Плохо, что серьёзных.

Вы это сообщение могли разбить по крайней мере на 5.

А так да, молчуны всегда в конце очереди оказываются.

[Elena.D]

Maimiti_Isabella,
Это все - "пагубное" влияние Австралии.
А тут спотыкания на таких же проблемах?


Many state-owned museum charge visitors an entrance fee.
However, is some countries admission to public museum is free.
While free admission to museums has obvious benefits,
there are also some drawbacks. To what extent do you
agree or disagree?

Some museums have an admission charge while some do not.
In this essay I will discuss positive and negative sides of
free entry to the state-owned museums.

Let’s begin by looking at advantages of free admission
to the museums. Usually government regards museums
as a part of its educational system, and free admission
makes national heritage available for any visitor despite
his ability to pay an entrance fee. By this government
supports its role as educator and
provides similar access to knowledge regardless
the income. In addition, the museums that do not charge
fees for entrance are not under the pressure to entertain
the public and they remain serious and scientific.
Finally, as state-owned museums house artifacts of the
incredible historical value, fact of not charging the entrance
fee allow them to introduce those exhibits of local
community history to overseas visitors as well.

There are also some disadvantages of granting free entry
for state-owned museums. Firstly, although the museums
are popular places to visit, in the situation of limited
budget government funding most likely will be allocated
to medical system or public education, but not to the
museums. As those museums has no entry fee, they may
have no other source of income to run research or buy
new exhibits. Secondly, as government museums are free
of charge, they may attract crowds of of visitors making
visits unpleasant and less informative. This is especially
noticeable during public holidays or even rainy days.

To sum up, there are some benefits of free entry to
state-owned museums such as accessibility regardless
income and promotion of historical heritage to a wider
range of visitors, as well as some drawbacks, for example,
short of funding and over crowding in some days.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Maimiti_Isabella,
Это все - "пагубное" влияние Австралии.
А тут спотыкания на таких же проблемах?
.

No, it's actually worse.

Get those 10 messages and my feedback will be coming!

[Elena.D]

Спасибо, пойду книжек почитаю

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Могу завтра проверить 1 эссе. У кого готово - в личные сообщения пожалуйста.

Конечно, чем выше уровень, тем лучше, но...
First come, first served

[Motya]

Добрый день! Буду благодарна за критику, замечания, советы!

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays employees often are asked to provide employers with information regarding their personal life, such as their hobbies and interests or marital status. There are people who think that it is acceptable as well as others who do not agree. In this essay I will discuss both sides and explain the reasons which make me agree with these requirements.
I should say that this information might be useful for Human Resources department in several ways. That is to say, employers analyzing this data could indicate better ways for improving staff satisfaction and motivating. Firstly, for example subsidizing different clubs or sports coaching for staff according their interests or health care programs for employees and their family members might be a good method to encourage people work harder. Secondly, managers might make a schedule and allocate personal in order to achieve better productivity. For instance, to put together people who have a lot in common.
However, opponents say that such personal information might be used by employers to harm job prospects. There is an opinion that some employers try to avoid employment of women who have little children or single persons, for example. It might be said that such applicants could be discriminated in spite of professional skills and qualification. In this case, it should be noted, that even if person does not inform company about these circumstances initially, they might be found out later and in this occasion it could lead to difficulties.
All things considered, I believe that provision such type of information could have positive effect on mutual relations between company and personal.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Добрый день! Буду благодарна за критику, замечания, советы!

...

Если хотите, то проверю ближе к выходным, через Personal Messages. Но в качестве 'затравки' - изучите правила постановки запятых в английском.

Hint: http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/21900...ml#post4414068

[Motya]

Если хотите, то проверю ближе к выходным, через Personal Messages.

Конечно хочу! Буду ждать.

Но в качестве 'затравки' - изучите правила постановки запятых в английском.

Спасибо! Обязательно.

[Motya]

Hint: ну пожалуйста, ну почитайте уже наконец-то...

В теме из ссылки есть вложение "Punctuation rules". Я его не могу открыть. Не подскажите почему? (Не пойму: или я что то не то делаю, или оно уже не работает).

[Maimiti_Isabella]

В теме из ссылки есть вложение "Punctuation rules". Я его не могу открыть. Не подскажите почему? (Не пойму: или я что то не то делаю, или оно уже не работает).

Чтобы не заниматься исследованием проблемы, I've attached the file to this message.

[Motya]

Чтобы не заниматься исследованием проблемы, I've attached the file to this message.

Глупо себя чувствую, но файл так и не вижу.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Глупо себя чувствую, но файл так и не вижу.

Sorry, I don't know what's going on. I uploaded the file but it is nowhere to be found!

I'll do it again around 6 pm tonight (our time)