My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[evol]

В том то и дело, что можно не писать конкретный аргумент против, можно просто сказать что хотя вы и за в целом, но вполне возможно что в некоторых ситуациях внимание родителей может не спасти от проблем.

Насчет возможных аргументов - ну, к примеру, излишек опеки может привести к недостатку самостоятельности и как результат к вовлечению в какие-нибудь тоталитарные секты

Советую, кстати, оставить себе как мин 5 мин времени экзамена на вычитку ошибок. Очень часто при повторном прочтении можно заметить отсутсвие -s в третьем лице или неправильные артикли.

Спасибо большое. Постараюсь все это учесть.

[evol]

Добрый день. Надеюсь, я не сильно надоел

Lectures were the traditional way to teach large numbers of students in the past. Now new technology is being used to teach students. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In last decades there has been a steady tendency in education to provide knowledge by introducing new advanced technologies, especially information technologies and the Internet. Consequently, the number of customary lectures has been decreasing continually. The aim of this essay is to highlight the positive and negative aspects of this trend.

Undoubtedly, there are certain advantages in bringing new technologies into the process of education. To begin with, usage of the Internet provides a great accessibility of information and saves time of the students. Instead of spending days attending lectures, learners are able to work with training materials at home thus releasing daytime for original research and practice. Moreover, even the practical work can be done by using various interactive programs. It can be said without exaggeration that distant education nowadays is available literally all over the world due to the Internet.

On the other hand, exploitation of new technologies in educational process can cause some negative issues. First of all, decreasing amount of lectures means lack of educators’ personal impact on their students. Meanwhile, the very personality of the teacher who has passion to his or her subject can be an incentive for scholars to master the subject. In addition, students who study on-line may suffer from the lack of physical activity since they do not have a possibility to have a stroll while attending lectures. Likewise, they may not be satisfied by their social activities due to the lack of face-to-face communication with other students.

In the light of the facts outlined above, one can conclude that the introduction of new technologies can bring both positive and negative effects.

[luckyNady]

The letter

Подскажите please какие требования предъявляются к написанию письма? О количестве слов я знаю а вот что насчет структуры.... Thanks in advance

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Подскажите please какие требования предъявляются к написанию письма? О количестве слов я знаю а вот что насчет структуры.... Thanks in advance

Структура собственно говоря такая же как и в эссе, многое зависит от постановки задания, опять же, как и в эссе:
1. что /где/когда (плюс state the problem - в некоторых типа письма)
2. что вы хотите (например, поменять бракованный продукт, получить информацию, пригласить друга и т.д.)

если письмо неформальное - в конце разрешается 1-2 вопроса и 'передать привет'.

[Shtuchka]

Скажите пожалуйста стоит ли употреблять в эссе: kids, quite, a lot of.
Не указывает ли это на неофициальный стиль письма?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Скажите пожалуйста стоит ли употреблять в эссе: kids, quite, a lot of.
Не указывает ли это на неофициальный стиль письма?

нет нет стоит. НО! quite может быть в словосочетании: quite a significant number - it's OK. Хотя rather все равно лучше.

[randwyck]

Beautiful English and a very good flow. The essay sounds quite natural and easy to follow.

I have only two problems with the essay.
1. I believe the opening lines of the first body paragraph is quite weak and there's not transition from the introduction to this particular paraphraph. This paragraph lacks a strong topic sentence. You’re talking about artefacts, but the topic is about traditional cultures. I think you need a transition sentence at the beginning of the paragraph, explaining what a traditional culture is and what it represents. Otherwise, the grammar and vocab. are really good.

2. You conclusion is quite strange, if not irrelevant. There shouldn't be any new ideas there. You, on the other hand, start talking about lost Golden Age, something that hasn't been mentioned and explained before. The last sentence is out of place as it's too informal and conversational. You need a much stronger conclusion.

I have no idea how long it took you to write the essay. I don't know how good or bad you perform under test conditions but judging from this essay you are looking at 7.5 minimum. Maybe 8.

Для статистики - сегодня получил результаты, 8.5 / 9.0 / 8.5 / 7.5, overall 8.5.

[Shtuchka]

Для статистики - сегодня получил результаты, 8.5 / 9.0 / 8.5 / 7.5, overall 8.5.

Nichego sebe! Zdorovo! Pozdravliayu!

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Для статистики - сегодня получил результаты, 8.5 / 9.0 / 8.5 / 7.5, overall 8.5.

Well done! (but I'm not surprised )
Thanks for letting me know.

[NoXNeo]

Привет! У меня сдача экзамена назначена на 21 августа, вот сижу и тренирую writting. Оцените пожалуйста. Мне нужно минимум 6.5. Потянет ли это эссе на такую оценку? Спасибо

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2020 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads.
Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?



From the moment of the first car appearance in 1888, its amonut rose up to 29 millions in 2000. In this case, I'm completely agree,that government should find measures to encourage use of the alternative forms of transport and create some laws, which would get car ownership and use under control.

First of all, huge traffic jams have become a main problem in all developed and crowded cities of the world. This enormous amount of cars, which is getting bigger and bigger from year to year, creates a congestion in some work areas, therefore people are not able to get to work in time. If habitants of this megapolises used underground or other types of public transport, there would be not so many traffic jams and it would become much easier to reach your destination.

Secondly, it is a direct responsibility of our government to control the pollution level. These areas, which are full of cars, has also become filled with exhausted fumes, which make a negative impact on the people's health. People suffer from different types of lung deseases and it is getting impossible to feel the fresh air.

To summarize, I'd like to say, that all of these factors can lead only to the bad consequences, that's why, I'm totally convinced, that officials should find the way to solve this problem. For example, the congestion charge can be set up, or some kind of law should be created, which would limit the number of cars per one family. Government should also persuade people to use public transport by decreasing the fares and inventing some privileges for its users.

[NoXNeo]

Вот еще одно. Оцените пожалуйста!


In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.




Nowadays, in our modern society, there is a tendecy, concerned a pressure on the young people, which involves a hard-studying life for them without almost any free time and leisure activities. I propose, that there are two main factors, which influence on youngsters to live this way: parents and seriuos competition for the place at the university.

As far as first factor is concerned, I should note, that modern parents obviously realize, that great amount of free time, which their children dispose, can lead to some bad consequences, as soon as drugs, alcohol and antisocial behaviour have obtained a great popularity among young people. That’s why parents chose the way, which would not allow their offspring to get under the bad influence. They hire a lot of additional teachers, register their kids on some useless courses just to fill all the gaps in the schedule of their child.

Talking about the second factor, which is not less important, I’d say, that it is a great challenge to enter the university. Since currently I’m the one of thousands of people who apply for university, I experience on myself, how difficult this steps can be.

On the other hand, I’m totally convinced, that the life of your child is still his own life. You can give a lot of advises and suggest some ways how to organise it with relevant examples, but it still should remain their decision. If your kid is really interested in getting knowledges at the best university of the world, help him, but if he is not, let him find his own way in life and support it.

In the light of the factors outlined above, I’d say that if young people don’t really suffer from this lifestyle under the pressure, it should lead to great results, but if it’s done against their desires, then it might become a theme of disagreement inside the family.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Привет! У меня сдача экзамена назначена на 21 августа, вот сижу и тренирую writting. Оцените пожалуйста. Мне нужно минимум 6.5. Потянет ли это эссе на такую оценку? Спасибo

Первое эссе скорее всего на 6, если очень-очень повезет, то 6.5. Но должно очень повезти. Слабый английский, много 'неанглийских' предложений и т.д.

Второе эссе, в добавление к проблемам первого, не отвечает на вопрос задания. Т.е. 6 - абсолютный максимум.

[newwave]

Здравствуйте. На последних страницах данного топика обсуждалось, в частности, эссе по теме

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need
music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the

International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Как видно, имеется два вопроса, что означает возможность как минимум двух совершенно разных эссе - важность музыки вообще и популярность международной относительно этнической. В связи с этим вопрос - какова правильная реализация заданий подобного плана в общепринятых терминах opinion и discussion.
Спасибо.

[srr]

КМК не нужно упираться в opinion и discussion.
два вопроса есть - на оба и нужно отвечать, как раз 2 абзаца тела и получится.

[newwave]

КМК не нужно упираться в opinion и discussion.
два вопроса есть - на оба и нужно отвечать, как раз 2 абзаца тела и получится.

Спасибо за мнение. Не хотелось бы разводить флуд, однако на данном форуме неоднократно обсуждались характерные каноны opinion и discussion (такие как, например, выдача мнения автора во вступлении для opinion и тд), нарушение которых влечет за собой снижение баллов, так как считается, что человек не понял вопроса. Наличие определенного количества абзацев, как также неоднократно обсуждалось, необходимым не является. По карйней мере два и три в основной части могут варироваться совершенно спокойно. Тут важно их логическое соответствие и cohesion.