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Добрый вечер!
Прошу проверить и покритиковать мое эссе. Нужно дотянуть до Band 6. Это мое второе эссе, первое еще хуже) Прошу указать на основные проблемы, неуместное употребление слов, неправильную структуру эссе и т.д. Насчет корявости идей знаю, но ведь на экзамене не так много времени чтоб выбирать, придется писать что первое пришло в голову.
Решила пользоваться дополнительными материалами пока не набью руку, так что могут быть несвойственные для моего уровня слова
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music6 and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The matter of considerable controversy for centuries is the topic whether people born with specific talents, or they can be taught to be magnificent sportsmen or musicians. Some people believe that it is gift from the God and bow to talent, whilst others say that it is a result of hard work and self-development, and respect a strong personality of man. In my point of view both opinions could be interpreted as right. Further I will try to prove that.
There are many examples of people from poverty-stricken families, without a special education and necessary tools, which demonstrate genius abilities. Greatest composer Mozart`s talent was marked when he was three. Furthermore, there are number of examples of sportsmen from less developed countries, which show successful results even without personnel professional trainers. This proves that some people have inherent aptitudes and special abilities.
On the other hand, we can hear stories and experience of people with ordinary abilities, which succeeded in areas such as sport or music by hard work, tenacity, discipline and persistent training. And, it is proved that developing skills from childhood is much more effective than in adult. I believe it is possible to learn to be a musician or sportsman. Nevertheless, it is doubtful if the child can be taught to become phenomenal artist.
Finally, I want to note that the factor of talent or education in different sports and various art forms has a different value. In conclusion, people can be born talented, although they can develop a talent, and I believe that any child can be taught certain skills, but natural talent is essential for outstanding results.
Прошу проверить и покритиковать мое эссе. Нужно дотянуть до Band 6. Это мое второе эссе, первое еще хуже) Прошу указать на основные проблемы, неуместное употребление слов, неправильную структуру эссе и т.д. Насчет корявости идей знаю, но ведь на экзамене не так много времени чтоб выбирать, придется писать что первое пришло в голову.
Решила пользоваться дополнительными материалами пока не набью руку, так что могут быть несвойственные для моего уровня слова
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music6 and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The matter of considerable controversy for centuries is the topic whether people born with specific talents, or they can be taught to be magnificent sportsmen or musicians. Some people believe that it is gift from the God and bow to talent, whilst others say that it is a result of hard work and self-development, and respect a strong personality of man. In my point of view both opinions could be interpreted as right. Further I will try to prove that.
There are many examples of people from poverty-stricken families, without a special education and necessary tools, which demonstrate genius abilities. Greatest composer Mozart`s talent was marked when he was three. Furthermore, there are number of examples of sportsmen from less developed countries, which show successful results even without personnel professional trainers. This proves that some people have inherent aptitudes and special abilities.
On the other hand, we can hear stories and experience of people with ordinary abilities, which succeeded in areas such as sport or music by hard work, tenacity, discipline and persistent training. And, it is proved that developing skills from childhood is much more effective than in adult. I believe it is possible to learn to be a musician or sportsman. Nevertheless, it is doubtful if the child can be taught to become phenomenal artist.
Finally, I want to note that the factor of talent or education in different sports and various art forms has a different value. In conclusion, people can be born talented, although they can develop a talent, and I believe that any child can be taught certain skills, but natural talent is essential for outstanding results.
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64 эссе! Я вас услышала )
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