My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[JGM]

и еще одно, если можно

More and more people start buying ready to eat food and less people cooking for themselves, what are the advantages and disadvantages of such development? Discuss.

Nowadays, more and more people, instead to cook for themselves, buy ready to eat food. Below I will bring advantages and disadvantages of this development from my perspective.

The rhythm of modern life does not leave us much free time. We often have to work overtime hours as well as during weekends. That way we have not enough time to kook for ourselves. Because of that, we more and more choose ready to eat food in supermarkets. And all we have to do is to place it into a microwave stove and press the start button. In a few minutes our dish is ready. Perhaps, this is only advantage of such kind of food.

Much worse it is with disadvantages. First of all, we have no chance to manage the process of cooking with such food, we do not choose ingredients we would like to eat, we can not balance them. Furthermore, choosing fast food we forget traditions of national cousins. When we cook for ourselves we express our mood into the dish. Can we do that with fast food? Of course, we do not!

From the health perspective ready to eat food often contains damaging ingredients such as preservatives and the stuffs that rises a taste. Many of those ingredients can stimulate very serious diseases such the cancer is.

In a conclusion I would say that, despite ready to eat food is very convenient, in order to save our health and our traditions we should try to preclude the using it in our day-by-day life. Of course, sometimes we have no other options when we hurry and then we eat fast food, but we must remember it can be very dangerous for our own health.

[Ryzhik]

to JGM

Самая главная проблема - Вы не отвечаете на вопрос эссе. Оценка будет низкой.

Вопрос : Больше людей покупают готовую еду и меньше людей готовят сами. Преимущества и недостатки ЭТОГО развития.
А Вы пишете про преимущества и недостатки фастфуда/домашней еды.

Плюс есть ошибки, например:
instead to cook= instead of cooking
microwave stove = oven
express our mood into the dish - untranslatable folklore

Попробуйте переписать по теме.
Удачи!

[JGM]

Ryzhik, спасибо за критику.

Возможно, я не понял задачу.
Получается, что эссе по данной теме должно содержать 4 параграфа:
вступление
недостатки
достоинства
заключение... типа, хотя бла-бла, но все же тоси-боси

так?

[Alexander Usov]

It is very clear now that English should be the primary foreign language taught in all schools around the world. Learning a different foreign language before English is, in today’s world, a waste of time.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I think that the question whether English should be the main language for learning at schools is the one that is rather controversial, challenging and open for debate. Some people firmly believe that English is the most popular language in the world and students have to acquire it as obligatory subject in order to succeed in their future life. However other people disagree with it and are sure that students are responsible for choosing of a language. In this essay I will analyze these points of view and present my opinion in favor of people who are inclined to think that choice of a second language depend on different factors.

On the one hand, most parents strongly believe that their children have to learn English as priority means of communication. The main advantage of it is the fact that these days English has become the standard for communication in different spheres of humanity such as science, computer industry, education etc.. I have recently read an article in a magazine about using English all over the world. According to recent statistic report English takes the first place in number of countries using English as a second language despite the fact that absolute amount of people using English in the world takes only the six place. So as a result many young people prefer learning English to other oversea languages. Thus it is clear why many gravitate to this point of view.

On the other hand, some people tend to assume that other languages such as Chinese or Hindi should be taken into account as well. One of the main reason of it is the fact that nowadays China and India are countries with extremely fast-growing economics. Moreover, in accordance with mentioned above report number of people in the world using these languages takes first and second places correspondingly. Consequently, if youngsters knew these languages they would have great opportunities and benefits in their future career. After analyzing these facts it is clear why many support this claim.

Taking into account everything mentioned above I suppose that choosing a language for learning depend on a person’s preferences. On a personal level, I guess that a person should take into consideration all factors such as where he or she lives as well as economic balance of power in the world.

[Ryzhik]

Ryzhik, спасибо за критику.

Возможно, я не понял задачу.
Получается, что эссе по данной теме должно содержать 4 параграфа:
вступление
недостатки
достоинства
заключение... типа, хотя бла-бла, но все же тоси-боси

так?

Да, так.
И, т.к. тут нужно описывать "тренд", постарайтесь использовать больше comparative language. Типа, жизнь стала "лучше/хуже", жить стало "веселее"

[JGM]

Ryzhik,

беда в том, что мое воображение не позволяет мне найти бенефиты джанк-фуда, кроме скорости . Что курят авторы вопросов?

[Ryzhik]

Ryzhik,

беда в том, что мое воображение не позволяет мне найти бенефиты джанк-фуда, кроме скорости . Что курят авторы вопросов?

А вам и не надо его бенефиты. Вам надо бенефиты того, что стали его больше покупать.
Ну, скажем:
- развивается новая отрасль экономики - пр-во джанкфуда =>налоги гос-ву, раб.места людЯм; макдональдсы- работа для студентов и т.п.
- meal prepairing becomes less time consuming для мамочек => они уделяют больше времени семье/образованию,воспитанию детей/карьере...
Ну и хватит, в принципе. А дальше пишете уже эти...как их.."тоси-боси" ваши

[Favorite]

Добрый день. С большим уважением смотрю на сдавших 17.04. Как вы только смогли за 40 мин. что-то написать на такую тему. Я попробовал сам, но, увы, используя идеи с этого форума, т.к. сам был просто в тупике. Никак не набрать 6 баллов по райтингу.

In some places both boys and girls are taught cooking. How may it benefit in people’s eating habits?

It is undeniable that cookery in traditionally considered as a female occupation. Recently a tendency has appeared to train children cooking not depending on their sex. As far as I can judge from my own experience the cooking lessons for children could change our dining practice beneficially.

First and foremost, the cookery skill facilitates people to keep the wholesome life style. Nowadays many of us prefer the tinned or fast food not only due to lack of time but in absence of an appropriate cooking ability. If people were taught from the very childhood how to cook healthy dishes, especially quickly, they would avoid some diseases and wasting money as well.

Besides, many families suppose that responsibilities such as cooking or cleaning are the shared ones. A great number of women have a full-time job additionally to their usual household work. Providing that a man is able to substitute his wife at a kitchen it would promote calmer family atmosphere.

Moreover, the cooking can be regarded as a wonderful leisure activity combining a whole family or encouraging friends to meet more often. Imagine, how a perfect day can be when parents with their children cook firstly and then dine together.
Lastly, the special accent should be done on teaching boys to cook. The cookery is an integral part of a woman life because of custom and nature that is why, sooner or later, almost every girl will cook. At the same time, cooking capability can give boys an extra chance to succeed in life. For instance, a man can become a chef or housekeeper.

[F&#111&#110<b></b>T<b></b>&#61&quot]To summarize, I firmly believe that training children to cook would make our food consuming more balanced and salutary[/FONT]

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Добрый день. С большим уважением смотрю на сдавших 17.04. Как вы только смогли за 40 мин. что-то написать на такую тему. Я попробовал сам, но, увы, используя идеи с этого форума, т.к. сам был просто в тупике. Никак не набрать 6 баллов по райтингу.

In some places both boys and girls are taught cooking. How may it benefit in people’s eating habits?

It is undeniable ..... Recently a tendency has appeared ........ As far as I can judge from my own experience .......

First and foremost, ...... Nowadays many of us prefer .....

Простите, но я буду откровенна. В Вашем эссе количество заученных клише и шаблонов зашкаливает за допустимые нормы. Читать такое - сплошное мучение.
За шаблоны без смысла можно получить 5.5, но больше - это подарок от особо доброго 'дядечки'.

[Favorite]

Maimiti_Isabella, спасибо большое за коментарий. Я уж в отчаянии. Проштудировал Writing target 7 и все экзаменаторские эссе из Кембриджа и т.д. В книге вовсю пихают линк-фразы (шаблоны), в примерах,написанных экзаменаторами, согласен, их меньше. Так, что же вовсе без них быть? А эссе мое совсем бесмысленно?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Maimiti_Isabella, спасибо большое за коментарий. Я уж в отчаянии. Проштудировал 1. Writing target 7 и все экзаменаторские эссе из Кембриджа и т.д. 2. В книге вовсю пихают линк-фразы (шаблоны), в примерах,написанных экзаменаторами, согласен, их меньше. 3.Так, что же вовсе без них быть? 4. А эссе мое совсем бесмысленно?

1. Что это за книга? Ссылку на нее дайте, хотя бы на обложку.
2. В какой? В Cambridge и во всех других уважающих себя учебниках не пихают.
3. Можно и совсем. Но Вы пока не умеете, т.е. скорее всего просто английского не хватит. Поэтому в любом деле необходим баланс.
4. Понятия не имею. Весь смысл, если он и был, потерялся за шаблонами. Я лично дочитать до конца просто не смогла. Попробуйте тоже самое сказать на русском, с такими же шаблонами. Понравится?

Теперь 'о главном'. Какой у Вас уровень английского, забыв на секунду про IELTS? Вы сами можете написать приличное предложение? Я даже Ваш уровень не смогла разглядеть за всей этой, простите, гадостью.

Если хотите, напиште мне рассказ на 'вольную тему', скажем о каком-нибудь приключении (только о семье, работе и что я делал вчера - не надо). Можете сюда выложить, можно в ЛС. Я посмотрю и хоть какое-то мнение смогу сформировать. Только чур без 'домашних заготовок'. Просто сели и написали.

И еще. На какой балл сдали Reading and Listening?

[Favorite]

1. Что это за книга? Ссылку на нее дайте, хотя бы на обложку.

Sorry, конечно же Successful Writing

2. В какой? В Cambridge и во всех других уважающих себя учебниках не пихают.

Например, Cambridge 2 Test 4: см. влож. файл. Выражения, которые я выделил там, ведь те же самые шаблоны?

3. Можно и совсем. Но Вы пока не умеете, т.е. скорее всего просто английского не хватит. Поэтому в любом деле необходим баланс.
4. Понятия не имею. Весь смысл, если он и был, потерялся за шаблонами. Я лично дочитать до конца просто не смогла. Попробуйте тоже самое сказать на русском, с такими же шаблонами. Понравится?

Я согласен, что нужна оригинальность. Но как тогда выдержать структуру, о необходимости которой столько понаписано?

На какой балл сдали Reading and Listening?

L6 R7.5 W5.5 S6 ноябрь 2009
L7 R7.5 W5.5 S6.5 февраль 2010

Если хотите, напиште мне рассказ на 'вольную тему', скажем о каком-нибудь приключении (только о семье, работе и что я делал вчера - не надо).

Конечно, оцените, пожалуйста. Написано за один присест без словаря и заготовок. Уж что получилось

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Sorry, конечно же Successful Writing

Например, Cambridge 2 Test 4: см. влож. файл. Выражения, которые я выделил там, ведь те же самые шаблоны?

Там по одному на абзац, и даже не в начале абзаца!

Я согласен, что нужна оригинальность. Но как тогда выдержать структуру, о необходимости которой столько понаписано?

Не вижу логики. При чем здесь структура и оригинальность. И скорее всего Вы понимаете под структурой что-то такое, о чем я не имею ни малейшего понятия.

L6 R7.5 W5.5 S6 ноябрь 2009
L7 R7.5 W5.5 S6.5 февраль 2010

Словарный запас у Вас неплохой. Можно бороться!

Конечно, оцените, пожалуйста. Написано за один присест без словаря и заготовок. Уж что получилось

Вы очень 'тяжело' пишите. Надо немного relax. Вот посмотрите как я написала тоже самое. Я старалась не изменять смысл, только подправила английский.

[Stayer]

скажите пожалуйста на сколько балов такое произведение будет?

More and more people are wearing fashionable clothes. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons to support your answer.

According to The Daily News last week's publication nowadays people spend three times more on clothes than they did fifty years ago.
The reason for this tendency might lie in the significance of what we wear which has also increased. But do benefits of expensive
outfits worth the extra price they cost? This essay will try to outline the answer for this question.

One of the most reasoning factors for men and women who chose to dress in boutiques serves the fact that such fashionable items make them feel good about themselves. Undoubtely, high quality fabrics can enhance appearance of almost anybody, which results in boosted self-esteem. A confident individual is a happy one. Indeed, clothing affects the mood.

Another argument for wearing fashionable costumes is improved appearence they provide to their owners. As the old saying goes that 'the first impression counts'
it is better be a great one at any occasion. In many situations a person is judged by his or her look and sometimes looking neatly dressed defines the outcome.
For example, I personally witnessed how my bossed had chosen a better clothed person over the other two who had better skills and work experience during the interview.

Despite these reasons, many people continue to choose clothes based on comfort they provide to them not the image they give. Certainly, casual clothes which make us feel comfortable and doesn't cost much is a good choice for everyday living, which includes spending time at home or working in the garden. However, there are moments in life where such clothing would simply be inappropriate. Besides, a well altered suit provides nearly as much comfort for its wearer as any other daily piece of clothing.

In conclusion, the improved self-esteem and appearance that stylish clothes bring to their buyers far outweigh the premium people have to pay for them.
Well-dressed people can benefit from wearing good clothes that also provide cosiness of regular wear.

и еще, подскажите, правильно ли употреблен Past Perfect в предложении For example, ...

[Maimiti_Isabella]

скажите пожалуйста на сколько балов такое произведение будет?

More and more people are wearing fashionable clothes. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons to support your answer.

According to The Daily News last week's publication nowadays people spend three times more on clothes than they did fifty years ago.
The reason for this tendency might lie in the significance of what we wear which has also increased (?). But do benefits of expensive
outfits worth the extra price they cost? This essay will try to outline the answer for this question.

One of the most reasoning factors (? just 'factors' will do nicely) for men and women who chose to dress in boutiques serves the fact that such fashionable items make them feel good about themselves. Undoubtely, high quality fabrics can enhance appearance of almost anybody, which results in boosted self-esteem. A confident individual is a happy one. Indeed, clothing V affects the mood.

Another argument for wearing fashionable costumes is improved appearence they provide to their owners. As the old saying goes that 'the first impression counts'
it is better be a great one at any occasion. In many situations a person is judged by his or her look and sometimes looking neatly dressed defines the outcome.
For example, I personally witnessed how my bossed had chosen a better clothed person over the other two who had better skills and work experience during the interview.

Despite these reasons, many people continue to choose clothes based on comfort they provide to them not the image they give. Certainly, casual clothes which make us feel comfortable and doesn't cost much is a good choice for everyday living, which includes spending time at home or working in the garden. However, there are moments in life where such clothing would simply be inappropriate. Besides, a well altered suit provides nearly as much comfort for its wearer as any other daily piece of clothing.

In conclusion, the improved self-esteem and appearance that stylish clothes bring to their buyers far outweigh the premium people have to pay for them.
Well-dressed people can benefit from wearing good clothes that also provide cosiness of regular wear.

6 - 6.5. I'd say 6.5 but considering the nerves and other exam 'blues', could be 6.0. У Вас серьезные проблемы с paragraphing, a за это оценка снижается.

used to
However,
money/the price (no 'extra')
get some modality here: clothing can/could help affect

etc

tailored suit
the comfort

и еще, подскажите, правильно ли употреблен Past Perfect в предложении For example, ...

Нет. Оба действия проходили одновременно (I witnessed), поэтому необходимо употребить Past Simple в боих частях предложения.