My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[will.i.am]

Also, what do you mean by 'I hope you're well' and 'things are getting better'? Was Garry ill or something?

Well, I'm not sure this sort of phrases have a meaning of concern about somebody's
health. I suppose it needs to be clarified.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Well, I'm not sure this sort of phrases have a meaning of concern about somebody's
health. I suppose it needs to be clarified.

I'm fine vs. I'm good vs. I'm well vs. I'm OK

[will.i.am]

You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store, however you are not pleased with the service you received. Write a letter to the store manager. In the letter

· describe the situation

· explain why you are dissatisfied

· say what you want the manager to do

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with computer fixing service which I received at your computer store. I would also like to request assistance in troubleshooting this issue.

A week ago my computer crashed by viruses and after I failed to fix it on my own I realized it needs to be diagnosed by experienced technical specialist. For this reason I addressed this problem to computer technicians at your store, who promised me to recover my PC and restore the data in case it lost.

When my computer was returned back, it turned out that malicious software wasn't entirely deleted. Additionally, only half of lost data was restored not to mention the operating system didn't work stable.

I would appreciate it if you could make arrangements to have this issue settled. I would be also grateful if you could provide further instructions as to what I should do next.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Faithfully yours,

Matthew Warnock

[Maimiti_Isabella]

[B][I]You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store, however you are not pleased with the service you received. Write a letter to the store manager. In the letter .....

--> You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store. However you are not pleased with the service you received.
or
You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store; however you are not pleased with the service you received.

[SunRise]

--> You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store. However you are not pleased with the service you received.
or
You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store; however you are not pleased with the service you received.

It is one of my most favorite mistake also - attempt to use Rus. language's rules for Eng.

p.s. sorry for off-topic

[will.i.am]

--> You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store. However you are not pleased with the service you received.
or
You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store; however you are not pleased with the service you received.

Unfortunately, I have no recollection as to where I got this topic.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Unfortunately, I have no recollection as to where I got this topic.

This is a very poor excuse: you should've corrected this mistake before posting the topic for me to see. Don't you know by now that it's my pet hate?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

...

To be honest, after reading the letter, I still don't understand what you want the manager to do. Have you tried to talk to the technician? This is an important piece of information that is missing.

So, you discovered that the service was not what you expected and what you were promised. The next step is to talk to the technician, who of course refused to cooperate ( ) and as a result you're writing to the manager seeking his assistance in rectifying the matter to your satisfaction.


Got the idea?

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with computer fixing service which I received at your computer store. I would also like to request assistance in troubleshooting this issue.
-->I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the computer repair services I received from your store. I am also seeking your assistance in rectifying the problem.

A week ago my computer crashed by viruses and after I failed to fix it on my own I realized it needs to be diagnosed by experienced technical specialist. For this reason I addressed this problem to computer technicians at your store, who promised me to recover my PC and restore the data in case it lost.

-->A week ago my computer crashed due to a virus, and after several unsuccessful attempts to fix it I realised that I need the services of an expert. When I brought my Hard Drive – I hope you didn’t bring the computer to the shop! - , I was assured that my PC could be recovered and the data restored, in case it was lost.

When my computer was returned back, it turned out that malicious software wasn't entirely deleted. Additionally, only half of lost data was restored not to mention the operating system didn't work stable.

-->When I picked up my computer and brought it home, I noticed that the malicious software was not deleted entirely and the data was restored only partially. In addition, the Operating System appears unstable. I called the technician who was in charge of my PC but he refused to cooperate.

I would appreciate it if you could make arrangements to have this issue settled. I would be also grateful if you could provide further instructions as to what I should do next.

-->I would appreciate your assistance in the matter.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Faithfully yours,

[will.i.am]

Got the idea?

I just wanted the situation to be as less complicated as possible. If some virtual technician refuses to cooperarate then it looks like a scandal rather than a minor misunderstanding. I'm not pretend it to be 100%true; just my point of view.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

I just wanted the situation to be as less complicated as possible. If some virtual technician refuses to cooperarate then it looks like a scandal rather than a minor misunderstanding. I'm not pretend it to be 100%true; just my point of view.

Not 'virtual' but a very specific one: you made it clear you met this guy and talked to him in person.

After reading your letter, any person would ask the same question, which means something is wrong with how you develop your ideas (cohesion issues)

[NestyIvan]

Была не была, я иду со двора.
Прокомментируйте пожалуйста творчество.

Mass media is greatly contributing to the development of youth all over the world because of its easy accessibility. Some say that the influence of media on the day-to-day lives of these adolescents is more harmful than advantageous.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that media permanently influences young generation nowadays. While some argue that in most cases this impact is negative, I can support them only partly, because there are postive effects as well.

First of all, there are several examples of how media affects youngsters in a bad way. Firstly, significant amount of violence in the content for youth raises juvenile crime rates. For example, most action movies and cruel video games present main heroes in a positive light, which can make young people believe that criminal behavior is a norm. Secondly, being surrounded by gadgets with permanent access to the Internet adolescents seems to be absolutely drawn in the digital world of social networks, chats and web-sites. Certainly, this affects their concentration in study, which makes teachers and parents all over the world highly concerned nowadays.

However, there are worth mentioning advantages of everyday impact of media on youth. Despite most people notice only negative consequences, on the contrary, media helps in development of some individual skills like collaboration, communication and creativity. Moreover, being always on touch with different media channels let youngsters improve technical proficiency. For instance, recently an American teenager solely invented an artificial hand for disabled people, that is significantly cheaper and convenient in comparison to existing commercial analogues. As he claims, during the process of creation he used information from the Internet only and his own room as a laboratory.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that media has a sensitive influence on youth. In my opinion, young people can equally benefit or suffer from that impact.

[Vanderley]

NestyIvan, с чатами, играми и гаджетами вы по моему немного мимо медии

[GoldenJoe]

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.

Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

.
Fame provides not only advantages but also disadvantages and in my opinion the latter is greater one. Further I have tried to support this claim.

From the one hand, well known persons have a lot of material and immaterial values. Fame usually brings high-paid contracts which give access to expensive things like luxury houses, cars, yachts etc. Glory and love of high number of admirers give emotional energy and improve pride. Also restaurants, theatres and other public places save special seats and rooms for VIP like movie stars, politicians, singers.

From the other hand, celebrated people are confronted with specific difficulties. A plethora of attention is wearing and may hurt mental condition. It is similar to effects of alcohol or drugs - some quantity causes euphoria but a large amount causes poisoning. As a result a lot of famed stars try to be unrecognized, for example wear hats and sunglasses, when they walk or do shopping. Also famous persons often cannot spend much time with spouses and children that brings a worsening or sometimes a breakdown of relations.

In addition, personalities sometimes are badly treated by ordinary people. For example American snowboarder Victor Wild who have received Russian citizenship and won two gold medals for Russia on Winter Olympic Games in 2014 was criticized by American internet users with unbelievable hate and cruelty, some of them even suggested to send him in prison.

In conclusion, being a famous person causes advantages but in my opinion disadvantages outweigh. Life under permanent pressure is very stressful and gives bad effect on relations with relatives.

[NestyIvan]

NestyIvan, с чатами, играми и гаджетами вы по моему немного мимо медии

Надо было про журналы с фотошопленными моделями писать в общем.
Опять двойка.

[agronom]

Была не была, я иду со двора.
Прокомментируйте пожалуйста творчество.

я конечно не большой профи,но ваше ессе оставило двоякое впечатление. наряду с нормальными словами вы используете довольно простые(которые могут быть заменены легко)
First of all,................. Firstly,....
Я бы начал по другому. например To start with or On the one hand...
how media affects youngsters in a bad way = detrimental effect on youngsters or negatively/detrimentally affects.....
много раз повторяется effect/affect -influence, impact, pose the threat...
из примеров про героев получается что все герои фильмов и игр-отпетые преступники
.media helps in development of some individual skills = media provides uncountable opportunities to master individual skills
ну и есть ошибки по мелочи.