My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[NortT]

od1n, а что это такое?

Это вот. А также в этой же ветке на чуть соседних страницах есть Игра1-4 от Maimiti_Isabella, только od1n не учел (забыл), что играют полторы калеки и после одного двух раундов пыл играющих пропадает.

[Elena.D]

NortT, ссылка битая.

[Yusik]

Я тоже за, а какие правила?

[NortT]

Elena.D, исправил, еще раз жамкните.

[Yusik]

If nothing else works, it's time for drastic measures

Punctuation Rules

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[Elena.D]

NortT, Там есть здравая идея про синонимы, у меня на все темы выписаны словосочетания, которые хорошо бы использовать
А по сути игры - двух мало будет

[Elena.D]

Никто не хочет написать эссе на тему про спорт? А то у меня (закономерно) такой редкостный бред выходит...

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Punctuation rules: http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/21900...ml#post4414068

[Yusik]

Elena.D, для меня это тоже тяжкая тема, я совсем не любитель спорта (точнее, не любитель спортивных зрелищ) Но в общем, вот

Plan

1. Rephrase of statement. Opinion.
2. Supporting: international sport events join people from all countries by common interest and feelings. Everyone can feel themselves a parts of one world.
3. Opposite opinion: sport competitions may cause tension by themselves, as it happens with football teams. 4. Conclusion. Restatement of opinion.

sporting occasions – sporting competitions, championship, tournament, game, meeting, race.
International tensions – ethnic strife, ethnic conflicts, complex geopolitical situation, international hostility

World organizations responsible for arranging International sporting competitions state that these games were established not only to interest people all around the world in athletics and to provide them with entertainment. They also have very important mission – to reduce hostility between nations and serve the peace. I absolutely agree with this statement.

Despite the fact that now we are living in relatively peaceful time and all terrible World wars were left in the past century, still there are local conflicts in the different parts of our planet, threatening to grow into a global war and disaster. Considering this, common interests like Olympic Games or football championship that can join people of different political views, religions and nationalities are essential for keeping peace. First of all, watching sporting competition makes spectators experience strong emotions like worry about the team or sportsman they are rooting for and pride in case if they won. What is most valuable in international competitions is that people all around the world have the same emotions at the same time, and realization of this fact, as when people from Russia watch World Cup on TV and see ecstatic faces of Brazilian football fan, gives them an incomparable sense of unity with other World.

However, there is also a bad side of this phenomenon. Sometimes, when degree of tension between different nations is already high, sporting rival between their representatives can only add fuel to the fire and provoke hatred and aggression. Whereas watching sporting occasions causes people strong feelings, it also wakes primitive instincts in some individuals. The vivid example is football fans, which often gather in groups united by idea of hatred to other people, who do not share their favor, more than by interest in football. It is not uncommon for such fan bands to put up a massive fight in which serious damage to other watchers and property can be done.

Although international sport is facing such serious problems, I believe that it is possible to solve them and make sporting competitions a celebration of peace and friendship.

[Elena.D]

Это эссе на тему "Как спортивные мероприятия объединяют людей". Но тема о том, что вот уже есть international tensions (острокончники против тупоконечников), а теперь надо рассказать про то, как спортивные соревнования помогают им сгладить трения между Лилипутией и Блефуску, и помогают народам этих стран выразить свою позицию (о том, как разбивать яйца) в безопасной манере.

[Elena.D]

Боюсь, тут надо писать, что во время Олимпийских игр в древности даже останавливались войны, а сейчас болельщики, спортсмены и политики из враждующих стран имеют возможность встретиться на трибунах и на полях и в неформальной обстановке избить друг другу мордочки (зачеркнуто) пожать друг другу руки, угостить друг друга пивом. Политики могут негласно встретиться в кулуарах игр или там поздравить сборную противника по телевизору в случае выигрыша. Они же не обязательно друг против друга играют, их противник может играть и выиграть против сборной Швейцарии. И вообще использовать свое присутствие на играх для неформальных мирных переговоров.

Про safe way: И что вместо запуска друг в друга ракет они в целях национального самоутверждения могут обвешаться и обмахаться флагами, попеть гимны своих стран хором, надеть форму национальных сборных.

[Yusik]

OK

Many people believe that international sport competitions like Olympic Games or football championship can help in a peacekeeping mission, reduce tension in between countries and nations. I also fully agree with this opinion.

From the ancient times grand sport competitions were a time to put aside all dissentions. In Ancient Greece, from where the Olympic Games are originated, was a tradition to enact so called Olympic Truce for the period of competitions, and people could safely travel to a place where the games were held. When the Olympic Games were re-established in the end of nineteenth century, they were supposed to bear the same idea, but, unfortunately, they turned out to be not able to stop two World Wars which took place in the next century.

Nevertheless, all these sad pages of history did not deprived international sporting rivals of the spirit of joy and unity that is inherent to them. Nowadays exactly as in ancient times such a great events always attract attention of all the humanity; people forget about their mundane worries and fusses, captured by happening event. During this period, representatives of conflicting sides, such as sportsmen, journalists, fans, and officials have a chance to meet at neutral territory, to communicate with each other and get to know each other from the better side. This can be a wonderful opportunity for them to overcome their hostility, especially after they have been given with a space to let off the steam and express their patriotic feelings by supporting their national team in a passionate way, such as singing national anthem and waving flag.

To sum up, international sporting events will always be a powerful way to unite people despite all contradictions and to maintain peace on Earth.

[Yusik]

Если эссе типа Agree/Disagree, то в этом случае ведь не обязательно обсуждать аргументы, которые противоречат твоей заявленной точке зрения?

[Elena.D]

Говорят, что не обязательно. Особо если в теме плывешь, и вдобавок fully agree было вначале ж. Было бы там mixed blessings - тогда бы да.

[Elena.D]

Many people believe that international sport competitions like Olympic Games or football championship can help in a peacekeeping mission, reduce tension in between countries and nations. I also fully agree with this opinion.

It is believed that international sporting events like Olympic Games or football cups are helping to ease international tensions and are a good place to express patriotic feelings in proper manner. I tend to fully agree with this statement.

Мммм?