My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Мне очень жаль, что в вашем понимании документ, опубликованный на сайте организации не может быть причислен к группе материалов. Шучу, мне пофигу. Разговор затянулся и зашел в тупик, тем более, что вы приписываете мне слова, которых я не говорил. Энивэй, удачи в объяснении людям, как писать "правильно", мне же конкурентов будет меньше

В band descriptors как раз и есть упоминание на Introduction.

Но это не 'материалы'.

Конкурентов у вас будет полно, когда будете работу искать и будете 'пробиваться' среди тех, кто 7-ку за английский вообще не считает (и правильно делает - это еще даже не английский, а только его начало). Или тех, кто понимает culturally как английский 'работает'.

[al.ximik]

Maimiti_Isabella, а ткните пальчиком, а то я не вижу, где в дескрипторах есть про интродакшн. Может быть, плохо смотрю.

Что до английского, я вообще не считаю этот shitty exam за реальное отражение навыков владения языком. Те 7, которые ставят за ielts, действительно, на мой взгляд, являются довольно средненьким уровнем для проживания в среде. Восьмерки тоже ни разу не показательны в этом плане. Только какое это имеет значение - не понятно.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Что до английского, я вообще не считаю этот shitty exam за реальное отражение навыков владения языком.

Taк бы сразу и сказали!

[Oleg32]

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is sometimes argued that the single argument to study different language is for tourism or immigration purposes. However, there are those who believe that there are other aims to know overseas language. This essay supports the latter view because ability to speak and literacy in another culture’s language can make a person smarter. Firstly, this essay will discuss opportunities that gives international language knowledge abroad and, secondly, it will analyse mental development by studying other nation’s system of words for communication.
On the one hand, those who believe that foreign language is necessary solely for trips and career abroad base their opinion on the requirements to speak native language for employees and visitors. On no account should the importance to explain what you need in a local accent when you stay there be forgotten. However, it is clear that foreign country not the only place there overseas language can be useful. For instance, the increasing numbers of immigrants from Mexico force Americans to learn Spanish that is already spoken by 20 per cent of population in the USA, as was reported by The Education journal in 2017.
On the other hand, those who argue that different language ability to speak is essential for intellectual advancement appeal to the fact that it is scientifically proven fact. Not only is it important for abstract thinking skills, but it also has great consequences for memory improvement. In other words, different culture speech develop person’s quality of intellect in advanced manor. For example, multiple experiments proved that people who know two or more languages have higher IQ scores by 10-15 per cent in comparison with monolingual opponents, as was informed by The Science in Use magazine in 2018.
In conclusion, taking into account all written above, I am firmly convinced that capability to understand different languages is a double-edged sword talent which not only an opportunity to understand foreigners but also an excellent chance to improve your intelligent. This is due to the fact that a great amount of successful entrepreneurs and scientists are able to speak foreign languages.

[iamafreak]

Покритикуйте мое TOEFL Independent essay

Друзья!

Прошу прощения, что пишу в этом форуме, посвященном IELTS, но специализированного форума, посвященного TOEFL я не нашел.

Прошу покритиковать мое Independent TOEFL essay. Если поставите оценку от 0 до 4 - буду премного благодарен. А если напишете, каким критериям эссе (не)удовлетворяет - буду вообще безмерно счастлив!

some notes: эссе написано "вовремя", за 25 минут. 5 мин ушло на проверку. Over 300 слов.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Nowadays, we can hear some ideas, which are brought to life by some activists, that children over the age of 15 should be allowed to participate in voteing. There are many arguments in defense of that point of view; some speakers think that teenagers are responsible in the same way as adults, the others are indicating the idea that young adults must have the same rights for voteing as mature adult persons.


My opinion on this issue could be attributed to the opinion of many, who disagree. I can't accept this idea for real. At first, young people at the age of 15 are so immature. Their understanding of the real world's processes, especially political and social ones, are in the state of forming at this age, and it would be better to keep this fragile formation away from any serious shocks. Their definition of true and false are far more innocent and direct, than the same definitions of experienced politicians.


That's the way, why teenagers can not be adequate judges. They usually accepts only the extreme sides of a problem, like black and white, without any shades of grey. According to that, they could be easily manipulated by some political technologists and children's final decision could be forged by them en masse. Young people at this age are also spending a lot of time on the Internet, interacting with each other on social media. Even if adult persons are sensitive to direct influence from the social networks, news and other people, so what can we say about infants?


By the way, even if young children are older than 15 years, they are still children. They could accept voteing as a sort of huge and interesting game, without thinking about how serious consequences of their decisions could be.


In conclusion, I'd like to say, that it would be better to explain to young adults the importance of voteing, and by showing them how our votes could change the way of countries and even the whole civilization. If they would have such various knowledge about that, they would have more possibilities for weighted decisions in the future.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Друзья!

Прошу прощения, что пишу в этом форуме, посвященном IELTS, но специализированного форума, посвященного TOEFL я не нашел.

Прошу покритиковать мое Independent TOEFL essay. Если поставите оценку от 0 до 4 - буду премного благодарен. А если напишете, каким критериям эссе (не)удовлетворяет - буду вообще безмерно счастлив!

some notes: эссе написано "вовремя", за 25 минут. 5 мин ушло на проверку. Over 300 слов.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


....

Прежде всего, разберитесь с запятыми, а то они у вас 'по русски' понатыканы.

http://www.gday.ru/forum/ielts/21900...ml#post4414068


Или, если хотите разбираться сами и отбросить всякие британские тонкости пунктуации, то можно прямо начинать с американских первоисточников: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/6/

И очень смешно, что у вас самое главное слово эссе все время misspelled: voting

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is sometimes argued that the single argument to study different language is for tourism or immigration purposes.

И откуда вдруг иммиграция взялась?

Eсли же говорить с точки зрения английского, то английского в этом эссе.... хотелось бы больше, потому что местами похоже на google translate. Sorry.

[Yuriy_Kor]

Всем доброго времени суток!
Заинтересовала дискусия по поводу Introduction.
Вот что я нашел:

Ресурс: UNDERSTANDING IELTS BRITISH COUNCIL

Информация:
Academic Writing Task 2 - question types and essay formats
In the Academic Task 2 essay you may be asked from a range of questions. Whatever the question, it’s good to have an essay structure in mind. A four-paragraph structure is the most common, and the easiest to adapt to different questions.

Before you take the test, practice using the structure so you can plan your essay quickly on the day of the test.

Here are some possible question types and four-paragraph structures to match:

Agree or Disagree
Many children these days have an unhealthy diet. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Introduction: topic and give your opinion (how much you agree or disagree)
Main paragraph 1: Why you agree
Main paragraph 2: Why you disagree
Conclusion: summarise your argument
Note: when the question asks ‘to what extent’, you can agree or disagree in both main paragraphs.

Advantages or Disadvantages outweigh each other
In some countries, governments are encouraging people to use their cars less and to take public transport instead. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Introduction: topic and give your opinion (more advantages or disadvantages?)
Main paragraph 1: Advantages
Main paragraph 2: Disadvantages
Conclusion: summarise your opinion in a different way from the introduction

И так далее по каждому типу эссе.

[al.ximik]

А откуда дровишки? Поиск по "UNDERSTANDING IELTS BRITISH COUNCIL" дает только отсылку к курсам разной степени сомнительности. Впрочем, может тут тусуется кто-то, кто недавно успешно сдавал хотя бы на 7 и использовал "классическую" структуру эссе?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Всем доброго времени суток!
Заинтересовала дискусия по поводу Introduction.

На всякий случай: дискуссии не было и быть не могло. Во всяком случае я ни в каких дискуссиях участие не принимала.

[al.ximik]

В общем-то да, дискуссия подразумевает высказывание аргументированного мнения обеими сторонами, а не только выпячивание непомерного эго на почве хорошего (без шуток) знания английского языка и попыток аппелировать к неким "общеизвестным" догмам xD

[Maimiti_Isabella]

выпячивание непомерного эго на почве хорошего (без шуток) знания английского языка

Ваша оценка моего английского для меня безумно важна и дорога

[IMil]

А откуда дровишки? Поиск по "UNDERSTANDING IELTS BRITISH COUNCIL" дает только отсылку к курсам разной степени сомнительности. Впрочем, может тут тусуется кто-то, кто недавно успешно сдавал хотя бы на 7 и использовал "классическую" структуру эссе?

Я умудрился написать на 7.5, вообще не разбивая текст на абзацы. Уже потом прочёл критерии оценки. Но логическая структура при этом была близка к классике.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

В течении след. недели смогу проверить 2-3 эссе.

Мои условия:

Please check out my requirements before sending your essays to my Personal Messages

As always, first-in, first-served


Please note:
если ваши эссе не 'тянут' по крайней мере на 6.5, то моя проверка мало чем вам поможет.

Эссе присылать только через личные сообщения. Ответ будет тоже только через личные сообщения. This means you need at least 10 postings to access personal messages.

Чуть не забыла добавить:
Eсли вы ждете, что я вас буду хвалить и гладить по головке, то лучше не присылать.
Если вы чувствительны к критике и у вас нежная душа, то лучше не присылать.
Если вы уверены, что ваш английский очень хороший, а IELTS - это все происки империализма и его цель не пустить в Австралию русских/российских/украинских и т.д. иммигрантов, то лучше не присылать.

I don't want to be responsible for your nervous breakdown

[mirabella]

Добрый день. Проверьте, пожалуйста мое эссе. Тема взята с форума, поэтому не совсем корректна.

Why more and more people choosing skin surgeries these days? According to you these surgeries are good or bad?

Nowadays, beauty industry is going through the roof and huge amount of people resort to plastic surgery. From my point of you, this is a negative trend but in some cases it can be necessary.

On the one hand, a person who does plastic surgeries can never stop and continues to do it over and over again. Definitely it points out that our society is in trouble and the majority of people are insecure with their appearance and self-identification as a person. For example, one quite a pretty woman in America was doing plastics until she made herself an ugly and finally she has received nickname as cat-woman. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior and instant attempts to improve ourselves leads to rejection of others. In a result our society becomes more isolated and unfriendly.

However, reconstructive surgery is necessary in case of born anomalies or car accidents. From this point of view, a fast growing field as plastics can significantly improve quality of some people lives and even save them from death. There is no need to say that such kind of defects from birth as harelip can completely destroy human live. Thus, in some cases reconstructive and cosmetic surgery plays significant role in improvement of human’s lives.

In conclusion, there some merits as well as drawbacks of plastic surgery development and popularity. I believe that cosmetic surgery is not as much important and needed as reconstructive surgery. It is recommended to reduce number of unnecessary operations and use them only if there are some medical requirements for the surgery.