My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[come_on!]

Надо же, тему еще читают. Почему же мое неистовое эссе старожилы проигнорировали? Что со мной не так? Как мне жить?

[illi4]

Надо же, тему еще читают. Почему же мое неистовое эссе старожилы проигнорировали? Что со мной не так? Как мне жить?

Я подвыпал из-за обилия работы, а сейчас, я так понимаю, уже неактуально - Вы, вроде, должны были сдавать экзамен на днях. Как ощущения по writing?

[Vanderley]

Надо же, тему еще читают. Почему же мое неистовое эссе старожилы проигнорировали? Что со мной не так? Как мне жить?

Так посмотрели же вроде как. Вы кстати кое-чей ник неправильно написали )))

[come_on!]

Я подвыпал из-за обилия работы, а сейчас, я так понимаю, уже неактуально - Вы, вроде, должны были сдавать экзамен на днях. Как ощущения по writing?

В эту субботу все будет. Жду). По writing балл плавает от 6,5-8 - native speakers проверили где-то 12-15 моих эссе, при этом четыре раза обращался к бывшим IELTS экзаменаторам. Так что уже даже интересно, что я в итоге получу.

[come_on!]

Так посмотрели же вроде как. Вы кстати кое-чей ник неправильно написали )))

Точно. Это непростительная ошибка!!! Могу только оправдаться, что перед Изабелла идет незнакомый мне набор букв).

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Точно. Это непростительная ошибка!!! Могу только оправдаться, что перед Изабелла идет незнакомый мне набор букв).

Пришлось вернуться на несколько страниц назад, чтобы понять о чем идет речь. Мне нравится моя новая 'фамилиё' Может стоит поменять ник?

[ArthurK]

ArthurK, если хотите могу повыделять ваши ошибки. Но только с условием что вы их сами исправите.

Прошу прощения. давно не заходил. Да, но если можно уже по новому эссе которое я приведу ниже.

Before an important exam, do you think it is better to prepare for a longtime or only for a few days? Give examples and reasons to support your argument.

Some students prefer to prepare in advance for their exams, while others like to do it just in a few days before. From my point of view it’s better to prepare much earlier for exam, because it gives us confidence, a more appropriate schedule and as result, higher points.

First of all, preparing for the tests within bigger time frame, allows us to live almost in the same pace as we do in regular basis. For example, when I used to prepare in few days before the exam, I had four sleepless nights while learning the material. As a consequence, I was permanently feeling tired and kept dreaming to get a nap. Therefore, I believe that started preparation much earlier before the exam will help us avoid changing our sleeping patterns.

Secondly, longtime period of preparing gives us more confidence. For example, when we are learning our hangouts in small time we are not able to remember all information. That can make us nervous and stressed out on the exam day. On the other hand, taking more time for training helps us to consolidate our knowledge and feel more assured while the exam.That is another reason to train yourself much before the test date.

Finally, spending more time on studying for the examination allows us to score better results. For example, when I did prepare in a few days before my previous English exam, I scored 5.5 of 7.0. Therefore, had I dedicated more time to train myself, I would probably rich my goal.

In sum, I believe that it is better to spent more time to prepare for examinations instead of doing it in the nick of time.


Буду рад конструктивной критике.

[Vanderley]

ArthurK, ещё неплохо бы увидеть задание.

[ArthurK]

ArthurK, ещё неплохо бы увидеть задание.

извиняюсь. отредактировал.

[illi4]

Попробую прокомментировать. Формулировка, кстати, довольно "левая", на задание IELTS не похожа. Но, тем не менее:

Прошу прощения. давно не заходил. Да, но если можно уже по новому эссе которое я приведу ниже.

Before an important exam, do you think it is better to prepare for a longtime or only for a few days? Give examples and reasons to support your argument.


(не хватает вводной фразы) Some students prefer to prepare in advance for their exams, while others like to do it [to do so] just in a few days before [before what?]. From my point of view [запятая] it’s better to prepare much earlier for [an] exam [much earlier than what?], because it [this] gives us [не используйте us, we, our в формальном эссе. здесь и далее.] confidence, a more appropriate schedule [?] and as result [and, as a result, can lead to ...], higher points.

First of all, preparing for the [Вы о каких-то конкретных тестах говорите?] tests [а к устным экзаменам это не относится?] within [a] bigger time frame, [лишняя запятая] allows us to live almost in the same pace as we do in regular basis [я не понял Ваш тезис]. For example, when I used to prepare in few days before the [an] exam, I had four sleepless nights while learning the material [мне не нравится, как построено предложение]. As a consequence, I was permanently feeling [I felt] tired and kept dreaming to get a nap [kept dreaming about a nap; и не закончили логическую цепочку, что это плохо сказалось на Вашей продуктивности и итоговых результатах]. Therefore, I believe that started preparation much earlier before the exam will help us avoid changing our sleeping patterns [с логикой не очень, и грамматически сформулировано неправильно. Было бы грамматически правильно, если бы Вы написали, например "... started preparation in advance, one could ..."].

Secondly, longtime period of preparing [так не говорят] gives us more confidence [in what?]. For example, when we are learning our hangouts [тусовки??] in small time [quickly \ within a short | shortened | decreased | narrow time frame] we are not able to remember all information [overgeneralization]. That [this] can make us nervous and stressed out on the exam day. On the other hand [Вы не к месту используете это выражение], taking more time for training helps us to consolidate our knowledge and feel more assured while [during an exam] the exam. That [this] is another [yet another] reason to train yourself much [to study diligently] before the test date [тестовой даты?].

[Вообще, лучше два крайне логичных раскрытых параграфа, чем три тяп-ляп ]
Finally, spending more time on studying for the examination allows us to score better results [why?]. For example, when I did prepare in a few days before my previous English exam, I scored 5.5 of 7.0. Therefore, had I dedicated more time to train myself, I would probably rich my goal [богатый моя цель не нравится параграф. нелогичный, "ни о чём"].

In sum [too informal], I believe that it is better to spent [spend] more [sufficient | enough] time to prepare for examinations instead of doing it [doing what?] in the nick of time [кмк, не стоит использовать идиомы в эссе; заключительный параграф слишком короткий].

Буду рад конструктивной критике.

[ArthurK]

Попробую прокомментировать. Формулировка, кстати, довольно "левая", на задание IELTS не похожа. Но, тем не менее:

Спасибо за помощь. Очень полезная информация.Буду практиковаться дальше.

Касаемо rich my goal - reach my goal - Опечатка.

[ArthurK]

Привет еще раз всем!

Интересует сколько стоит в баллах нижеприведенное эссе =)

Заранее спасибо!

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.
Do you agree or disagree?


The education has undergone a massive change for the past ten years. A lot of online schools have poped-up offering distant learning for the students. Because of these trends, some people may admit that teacher’s role will soon be replaced with a computer. Personally, I disagree with this statement.

Firs of all, computers can’t provide a proper and instant feedback to student while learning. Computer learning technology is designed to teach step-by-step, and not in real-time as a traditional learning with teacher does. Therefore computer-based learning program can’t give an immediate answer to specific questions. In fact, this can have an impact on misunderstanding learning material in general. The lack of real-time and personal feedback is one of the reasons I believe that teachers will remain in the classrooms.


Secondly, all students need a leader who will motivate them when they are not focused. Unfortunately, technology can’t provide those opportunities. As example, one day on my second university course, I have been very tired during philosophy class. I was about to fall sleep when professor told me that current topic will be on exams. Hence, I forced myself to wake up and listen to the professor speech. This is another reason why I believe that teachers will not disappear.

To conclude , the role of teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be so in the future. No matter how complex computers become, they won’t be able to fully replace real human interaction.

[illi4]

В баллах не уверен, но, скорее всего, это на оценку в районе 6-6.5.
Работы непаханное поле, к сожеланию. Я считаю, что нужны серьёзные занятия с хорошим преподавателем.

Отдельным цветом выделил многочисленные проблемы с артиклями (недостающие или лишние).
Проблемы с грамматикой подчеркнул (сюда же пунктуация)
Проблемы с лексикой, неверный подбор словосочетаний и ошибки в словах выделил курсивом.
Про сокращения (can't и т.д.) вроде уже писал до этого, нет?

Второй параграф очень нелогичный или не раскрытый, и не только он.

Привет еще раз всем!

Интересует сколько стоит в баллах нижеприведенное эссе =)

Заранее спасибо!

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.
Do you agree or disagree?


The education has undergone a massive change for the past ten years. A lot of online schools have poped-up offering distant learning for the students. Because of these trends, some people may admit that teacher’s role will soon be replaced with a computer. Personally, I disagree with this statement.

First of all, computers can’t provide a proper and instant feedback to student while learning. Computer learning technology is designed to teach step-by-step, and not in real-time as a traditional learning with teacher does. Therefore computer-based learning program can’t give an immediate answer to specific questions. In fact, this can have an impact on misunderstanding learning material in general. The lack of real-time and personal feedback is one of the reasons I believe that teachers will remain in the classrooms.

Secondly, all students need a leader who will motivate them when they are not focused. Unfortunately, technology can’t provide those opportunities. As example, one day on my second university course, I have been very tired during philosophy class. I was about to fall sleep when professor told me that current topic will be on exams. Hence, I forced myself to wake up and listen to the professor speech. This is another reason why I believe that teachers will not disappear.

To conclude, the role of teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be so in the future. No matter how complex computers become, they won’t be able to fully replace real human interaction.

[ArthurK]

В баллах не уверен, но, скорее всего, это на оценку в районе 6-6.5.
Работы непаханное поле, к сожеланию. Я считаю, что нужны серьёзные занятия с хорошим преподавателем.

Отдельным цветом выделил многочисленные проблемы с артиклями (недостающие или лишние).
Проблемы с грамматикой подчеркнул (сюда же пунктуация)
Проблемы с лексикой, неверный подбор словосочетаний и ошибки в словах выделил курсивом.
Про сокращения (can't и т.д.) вроде уже писал до этого, нет?

Второй параграф очень нелогичный или не раскрытый, и не только он.

Спасибо большое Ильич! Будем работать дальше .

[NK999]

Добрый день. Посмотрите пожалуйста мое ессэ. Спасибо!

Some people think that companies and private individuals, not governments, should pay to clean up the pollution that they have produced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the last several decades the question of the pollution has become a critical issue in many countries around the world. This matter has been widely discussed among population. Many people believe that manufacturing firms, factories and common citizen should be obliged by law to fine for making air, water and soil dirty. I completely support this statement and will explain my position in this essay.
To begin with, it is important to emphasize that the level of the environmental problems has increased significantly. There is little room for doubt that one of the biggest threat is air which is arisen from the industrial growth. Many companies make emission from their operation; that is why they have to take their part in the elimination of the pollution’s negative effect. For example, Chinese producing companies must to pay plenty of money proportionally their emission intensity in accordance with the country’s regulation. Moreover, they have already renovated their equipment and methods in order to less the level of gas exiting to the atmosphere. Thus, if the business participates in the improving of the natural environment, then the Earth ecosystem will have the great benefit of good living conditions.
Another vital aspect that should be mentioned is the human’s responsibility for the impact they have on nature. It is a well-known fact that people prefer driving rather than public transport as this is more convenient for them. There is no point in denying that individuals may refuse or reduce the use of own vehicles in order to decrease the size of carbon dioxide emission which is the cause of global warming. In fact, that the owners of cars should recompense funds for their negative influence on the living world.
Taking into account everything outlined above, I gravitate toward the idea that the charging of cash from enterprises and men for cleaning up the pollution is a positive tendency. I assume that every person and firm may help to maintain and make better the planet’s state for the future generations.