My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Tima1995]

Eсли я пишу разбор эссе, то я же ожидаю какой-никакой ответ, правда? Не в пустоту же 'вещать'

Проверьте и мое пожалуйста)) Мне нужно 6.5+

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Проверьте и мое пожалуйста)) Мне нужно 6.5+

Простите, но у меня аллергия на темы эссе, которые написаны с ошибками.

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.

[Tima1995]

Простите, но у меня аллергия на темы эссе, которые написаны с ошибками.

Простите, пропустил such. Все исправлено)

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Простите, пропустил such. Все исправлено)

No, it's not. Please use reliable sources when preparing for IELTS.

[Tima1995]

No, it's not. Please use reliable sources when preparing for IELTS.

I don't know what's the problem, but I took this subject from the Cambridge IELTS 4.

[Tima1995]

No, it's not. Please use reliable sources when preparing for IELTS.

I don't know what's the problem, but I took this subject from the IELTS Testbuilder.
Here it is:

[Maimiti_Isabella]

I don't know what's the problem, but I took this subject from the IELTS Testbuilder.
Here it is:

OK, sorry, я не сообразила о каком such идет речь в пред. сообщении. Оно совершенно меняет структуру предложения.

Теперь не отвертеться Придется проверить Ждите.

[Tima1995]

OK, sorry, я не сообразила о каком such идет речь в пред. сообщении. Оно совершенно меняет структуру предложения.

Теперь не отвертеться Придется проверить Ждите.

Спасибо

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Спасибо

Done! Check your personal messages.

[kā jūms klājas]

4. наберите 10 сообщений, так как Ваше эссе я буду комментировать только через личные сообщения.

Набрал 10 сообщений, так что теперь, вероятно, смогу Вам отвечать в личке.

[Avik]

Poka chto ne poluchaetsa vpisatsa v 20 minut. Napisal za 50 minut. Chto skazhete?


With an increasing population communication, via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past.
To what extent do you agree?


The rapidly growing acceptance of using online communication and messengers as a communication tool can make the interaction in person less necessary. I believe that online messaging can effect the interaction in person, however the interaction in person will not vanish.

It is undoublty, that online communication has many advantages and provides different tools of communication in a distance. People use them to talk to their friends, collegues and relatives even if they live in the same city. With the rapidly increasing number of mobile gadgets, people can interact almost anywhere, while travelling in the public transport or doing something else. Many messengers provide special tools to express the emotions in order to make the interaction more sensible.It has also become possible to transfer files to different users such as music, photo and video and to organise group conferences.

Nevertheless to all mentioned advantages, online interaction cannot substitute personel interaction.
First of all, studies show that personnel interaction carries more information from one person to another, when people are able to see each other. In other words the visual contact carries a certain invisible information. Secondly continous use of text messengers makes people to become more dependent which effects on menthal and physical health. It can make people to feel isolated and abandoned even if they have an active interaction with their friends via the internet.

In conclusion, although the communication via internet messengers has become a part of our everyday interaction, I believe that human nature is more inclined to a personel interaction.

nuzhno 6 ballov nabrat ili 50 iz PTE.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Набрал 10 сообщений, так что теперь, вероятно, смогу Вам отвечать в личке.

Check your personal messages.

[illi4]

The rapidly growing acceptance of using online communication and messengers as a communication tool can make the interaction in person less necessary. I believe that online messaging can effect the interaction in person, however the interaction in person will not vanish.

[Avik]

illi4,da i vpravdu chto to mnogovato poluchilos. prosto navernoe ne xotelos face to face napisat.

[Svetulchi]

Пожалуйста, у кого есть возможность, проверьте эссе, выделите основные ошибки.
Заранее спасибо! В этот раз должно быть лучше.

Nowadays many women are joining the police and military forces. However, some people believe that these jobs are not suitable for women. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The number of women who join the police and military forces has been rising recently. Although some citizens argue that they do not fit for these positions, I totally disagree with this opinion since I believe that gender is not playing a crucial role here, but the skills that women probably have are essential.

Firstly, there is little room for doubt that women are genetically programmed to be more careful. For example, they are better drivers and can control their anger utterly better in comparison with men. Thus, these traits can improve an ordinary during observation of the streets of streets and, undoubtedly, may diminish the chance of weapon usage at work. In other words, a calm driving will not jeopardize the drivers themselves and clarity mind will not put at risk or endanger life’s of female officers as well as suspects.

Secondly, there are many people in the world who think that possession of strong physical power is not required in nowadays’ military segment. Acute mind is away more important. For example, it is not so rare any more to encounter with a women colonel these days, especially in some training centers. Such traits like perseverance, intelligence and diligence are necessary in order to succeed in this position. Nevertheless, there are a number of courage female officers, who are willing to take participation in different hot points across the globe for the sake of their countries.

In conclusion, one can add that I completely disagree with the notion that police or military forces require rigorous gender separation. In contrast, I think if woman has enough skills and abilities that can help her perform well, then it would be the most appropriate and feasible solution.